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Plotty's Customized MLB 14/15 The Show Dynasty

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Is it too late to make my second baseman?

Nope, not at all. Created players can be changed throughout the year. It's the solid programmed guys aka real lifers that are stuck. I started the dude, his name is Mark Workman. Wanted Mark Zero for your reference to Mark it Zero but didn't work.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Fucking horse shit! Cannot believe it! Asshole media!

A ruckus erupted in the office of Blake Daly. "What is it, master Coach sir?", asked pitcher Vladmir Petrov in a combination of broken English and Russian.

Daly picked himself off the ground, and exited his trashed office. "there's some things you all need to know," Daly stated, "apparently the national media, it's writers, and the Major League Baseball Players Association do not appreciate the name of our stadium, and the euphanisms we connect to it. They have gone so far as to possibly boycott playing any home games in the ASS. They claim that it's "a hindrance to developing a positive working relationship with the youth of this country."

Daly read on, "the MLBPA has gone so far to even recommend us relocating back to Pittsburgh."

The locker room sat in sheer silence. Then, Charles Johnson crept up from his chair.

"Guess there's only one thing left to do," he said.

"what's that?"

"fuck them all up and win the whole.....fuckin.....thing."
 

purple112

Go Berzerk
Without further ado, manager

William Zebulon Nelson
A journeyman whose long list of careers includes Naval officer, soft drink salesman, mall cop, entrepeneur, and laundromat employee, W. Z. Nelson's latest endevour takes him to Fairbanks, Alaska to be manager of the Fairbanks Gold Miners. Nelson also brings with him a solid baseball past, earning 3 letters at the University of New Hampshire.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
"So, you know all of baseball this we are going to lose 100 plus games and be last in the Central," Blake Daly started in on a conversation with newly minted manager William Zebulon Nelson.

"I've been down these paths before," started Nelson, scratching and tugging at the white, shaggy Denver Pyle-esque beard, "1964, off the coast of Vietnam. Fucking Vietcong all surrounding our little butt pirate coast guard vessel. We fought those boil weevils off then with sheer guts and intestinal fortitude. I'm pretty sure I can handle come stupid bears, beer makers and stupid ass red birds."

"I come from a long baseball line but also have seen it all. I've sold coke to the president of the United States. I've busted Charles Starkweather before he became the sleaze ball that terrorized Nebraska. I've even built a washing machine out of a bag of bolts and bamboo. You have yourself the Swiss Army knives of Major League Baseball managing."

"but can you win, and right out of the gate! With a bunch of shithooks?"

"I've survived Vietnam. I've done it all. What's coaching a kids game for 185 days and then some? This will be easy."

"Easy for you to say, all major sports media outlets have us picked to finish dead last. The local media says we should have stayed in Pittsburgh and not wasted anyone's time. We'd be better off if we jumped in front of a herd of stampeding moose, or shot ourselves. How's that for a vote of confidence?"

"They could have said we should float away like space garbage, or fallen into a black abyss. That's saying something."

"True. So have you had a chance to peruse the roster, the starting lineup?"

"Just a little. We have all sorts of makes and lives here. This Giant Sandwich guy intrigues me. What's his story?"

Oh that's Juan Casablanca Melendez. Dude escaped Castros clutches from Cuba. The lore is that he eats a large spicy andouille chille chicken sausage sandwich before he pitches. He says it gives him infinite strength to throw his fastball. Doesn't break for dick but it fucking moves, 98-100. Decent change up but needs a third pitch to be effective."

"Some of these other guys look like regular joes. Then there's this Russian, Vladmir? He a fucking commie?"

"No, but he's ice cold. Fearless. He calls his fastball the blue lightning. Apparently he can throw so fast blue flames shoot off from his fingertips. That and he has a strong inkling to vodka."

"Good to know our pitchers can be sponsored by AA. What about the offense! Any offensive stars?"

"This Don Drain guy looks like he can rake the ball everywhere. He got the name Drain from how he plays defense - teams chances go down the drain when he's in the outfield. Guy catches everything."

"he better if we are going to win the whole fucking thing."
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
The Opening Week

Series #1 v. Chicago Cubs
Game 1: Dave Johnson (Fair) v. Jeff Samardzija (CHC) Win 5-0
Game 2: Vladmir Petrov (Fair) v. Travis Wood (CHC) Win 8-2
Game 3: Nikolai Krause (Fair) v. Edwin Jackson (CHC) Loss 9-4

Series #2 v. St. Louis Cardinals
Game 4: Robby Kloog (Fair) v. Joe Kelly (StL) Loss 5-4
Game 5: Jimmy Partee (Fair) v. Tyler Lyons (StL) Loss 7-1
Game 6: Johnson (Fair) v. Adam Wainwright (StL) Loss 12-7 (10)

Next two series: at Chicago Cubs (3), at Milwaukee (3)
 
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Plotty

Tath Meacher
Doom in Gloom
Johnson, Drain Cast Ugly Shadow on Cubbies.


Don Drain lowers the boom on a solo home run in the seventh inning.

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - The Chicago Cubs were the unlucky ones that drew the opening draw of facing the Fairbanks Gold Miners on the road.

And on a gloomy, dark day in the ASS, the Gold Miners made the Cubs feel like their heads were parked in hindquarters.

Dave Johnson paralyzed a Cubs team that often looked uninterested and uninspired to play a game at Arctic Slopes Stadium, and five players notched two hist each to lead the Gold Miners to a 5-0 win to start the 2014 season.

"Gloom and doom," said manager W.Z. Nelson, "kinda like my times selling washing machines in the Deep South. Not much business there and to be honest, that team over yonder had no business to be playing ball today. Hopefully my words can provide some inspiration so they can come out and play better ball."

The first five innings were equally as uninspired, as each team combined for four hits and eight strikeouts.

The Gold Miners broke loose off Cubs starter Jeff Samardzija for four runs in the sixth inning. Roger Murdoch Jr. led the inning off with a single. Cristobal Huaranga smashed the first of two doubles on the day, scoring Murdoch. Huaranga then scored on bastard child DH Starling Marte's home run.

All Miner starters except for C. L. Johnson notched at least one hit. Marte and Don Drain also stole bases in the win.

Drain would return in the seventh to put an exclamation point on the game with a solo home run off reliever Blake Parker.

 
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worst2first

Well-Known Member
Song Dong-yong Poised to Become First North Korean Big Leaguer

vLu9vYZ.jpg


Seoul – North Korean defector Song Dong-yong may be about to make history. The 23 year old second baseman is reportedly being considered by several MLB teams. While nothing official has been announced there are reports that scouts from several clubs have visited him in South Korea.

The right-handed second baseman and utility infielder spent last season with the Samsung Lions in Korea Professional Baseball and helped propel them to victory in the Korea Championship and the Asia Series. Song batted .376 with 18 home runs and 76 RBIs. He also was impressive defensively with a .973 fielding average.

In 2012 while completing his mandatory military service, he defected from North Korea by jumping overboard from a North Korean naval vessel and swimming to a nearby South Korean fishing trawler. If he signs a contract, he will be the first North Korean in Major League Baseball.
 
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Plotty

Tath Meacher
Cubs, Wood Take It In ASS
Newly Minted 2B Dong-Yong, Sheridan Pace Miners in 8-2 Win.

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - Out with Mark Workman, in with Song Dong-Yong.

The former Mark Workman, who changed his name back to his Korean name sake, brought the Commie hammer with a three run home run to lead the Miners to a 8-2 win over the Chiacgo Cubs.

"I am master of the entire world. I fear no pitcher. I fear no fastball. I crush all and everything From weak Americans," proclaimed the Korean Zombie, "but the only one that rules over me is Master Neb-son." He then gave a gracious bow and walked away.

The Miners pounded 11 hits against Cubs starter Travis Wood. Catcher Teddy Sheridan lumbered around and had three hits including his first major league home run.

Also homering for the Miners was Don Drain, his second in two games.

Charles Johnson had two sacrifice flies and two stolen bases to aid in the Miner offense.

Vladmir Petrov blew the Cubs away early and often with his array of fastballs, notching eight strikeouts over six strong innings. He walked two and allowed only two hits. "Big bad Vladmir was throwing blue lightning out there. Those bears had no answer. Purely overmatched by Russia's power," manager W.Z. Nelson said, "again, they look not ready to play. Somehow they woke up to actually score runs late in the game off scrub pitchers. We look forward to kicking their ass tomorrow."
 
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Plotty

Tath Meacher
Cubs Awaken
14 Hits by Chicago prevent sweep.

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - Gold Miners manager W.Z. Nelson wanted the Chicago Cubs to "wake up". He got more than he bargained for.

Wellington Castillo homered and drove in four runs to lead the Cubs to a 9-4 win.

The Cubs benefited from 10 walks issued by Gold Miner pitchers. "We were it as sharp tonight as the first two games," said Nelson, "I'm glad the opposing team finally woke up from their slumber. We needed an ass kicking, as we got one, good and proper."

The Miners had two home runs from catcher Teddy Sheridan and another from Roger Murdoch, but only mustered three more hits after those. "Offensively we were challenged tonight. Weird compared to the first game."

After the ball game, "Giant Sandwich" Melendez and starter Nikoli Krause were involved in an altercation nearby the clubhouse. No punches were thrown, but some tempers flared. "Just men being pissed off about losing. It will be ok," said Nelson.

43ab394435bc0be73ed4d10bdad88d4b_zps883d436a.jpg
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Cards Slip By Miners
Fairbanks Musters 3 Hits, Almost Pull Out Win.

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - More trouble looming for the Fairbanks Gold Miners. "Our bullpen is bloody awful," said manager W.Z. Nelson, as he watched his Miners drop a 5-4 to the St. Louis Cardinals to begin the three game series.

The Miners had a quality start from Robby Kloog, only to watch it implode as the Cardinals notched tallies in the sixth, seventh and eighth inning to get the win.

St. Louis pounded the Miner bullpen for seven hits over the last three innings, five off of turned reliever Gerrit Cole.

Meanwhile, the Miner offense was stagnant. They had only three hits, two from catcher Tank Sheridan. Sheridan hit his league leading fourth home run. He is currently batting .500 on the season. The other hit was a two run home run by Roger Murdoch. "But we did walk four times and find ways to get on base," said Nelson, "but we needed to do more work with the sticks. We might have to call some bodies up that I know are proven from their regular days with the former Pirate organization."

Does this hint at a return of All Star Andrew McCutcheon? "Hard to say at this time," said Nelson, "but after one game like this, I hope that it's not a sign of weakness. We need to keep hammering things out and doing them right. Otherwise, it will be a cold next few months of the season."
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Cards Deliver Aces to Miners
Eight Walks Spiral Fairbanks to Another Loss.

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - The St. Louis Cardinals used the power of eight walked issued by Gold Miner pitching and a three run home run by Allen Craig in the seventh inning to win the second game of the three game series 7-1.

The Cardinals received at least one hit from every player except LF Matt Holliday. Three Cardinal players drew multiple walks in the game, led by Hollidays three.

"our pitching right now is weak towards the end of the rotation. Our starters need to work some extra reps on pinpointing their control. Eight walks is not okay, especially against a team like this. They will kill you if you put them on base enough," said manager W.Z. Nelson.

The Miners received what should have been a shot in the arm with the recall of All Star CF Andrew McCutcheon. However, Nelson had him DH for the game. McCutcheon went 0-for-3 with a walk and a caught stealing.

Leading the Miner offense was CF. Ernie Heist, who had two hits and a stolen base. Charles Johnson drove in the lone run with a RBI single that scored Don Drain.

"We need a win in the worst possible way right now," said Nelson, "otherwise, these kind of games lead you to hit the bottle and often. And with this bunch of guys and their different personas, that could make for an explosive locker room."
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Cardinals Win Walking
16 Walks, 10th Inning of Misery for Fairbanks in 12-7 Loss.

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - W.Z. Nelson would chalk this game up in the "holy fucking shit, did that just happen" category.

His Fairbanks Gold Miners held a 5-2 lead, heading to the ninth inning. Then DH Jon Jay drove in two runs with a bloop single to tie the game. "I really thought the Giant Sandwich would hold the fort down. But a walk here, and a walk there...." Then came this:



"That tenth inning was an absolute cluster fuck of epic proportions. Gerrit fucking Cole can go suck a black cock. Unfuckinghorseshitbelievable. We ask a major league talent to keep our feeble team in the game, and he literally served up one to Matt Adams. He hit it to Russia. Ball needs a passport. Hell, didn't need it it done gone past Russia. It circled the world in enough of a time it passed through."

The Cardinals tallied up seven runs in the tenth inning to put the game out of reach. The Miners showed some hudspa and mounted a mini rally, only to fall 12-7.

Starting pitcher Dave Johnson, who was lights out on Opening Day versus the Cubs, walked a small village himself (6). "that old man Johnson didn't do many favors either. His knuckle ball was garbage."

Nelson on wasn't the only one in a foul mood. CF Andrew McCutcheon shoved a news reporter before heading out the clubhouse. Roger Murdoch told another reporter to go suck a lemon.

The Miners did have a bright moment, 3B Zech Renfro hit two home runs and drove in five to help keep the game close.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
The Week Ahead
Fairbanks v. Chicago Cubs
Petrov (Fair) v. Wood (CHC)
Krause (Fair) v. EJackson (CHC)
KLoog (Fair) v. Hammer (CHC)

Fairbanks v. Milwaukee
Partee (Fair) v. Peralta (Mil)
Johnson (Fair) v. Lohse (Mil)
Petrov (Fair) v. Garza (Mil)
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
"Well, that sure escalated a bit, didn't it," W.Z. Nelson said to GM Blake Daly. Both sat dejected in the Miner clubhouse after the loss and post game presser to the Cardinals. "Damn media always pointing out the obvious."

"Well no shit, Sherlock," Daly snapped back, sarcastically. "that's their job. Your job is to cool your ass and tell em in a sane state of mind what goes on. Not rip your office apart. There's thousands of dollars of damages here. And it's coming right from your check."

"the hell it's not. I've got pension. The MLBPA won't stand for it. They.."

"oh yes they will. When I classify this as a random act of frustration, they will side by me. So, yes, it's coming from your pay check."

"and another thing. MLB don't give a rats ass about us. Why do you think they relocated the pirate franchise to this hell hole? Nobody went to their games. Like Houston last year when they relocated to Tijuana. Only thing that killed that operation was the inner connection to the drug cartel."

"drug cartel! The hell!?"

"oh, you never knew...let alone many outside Major League Baseball. The Tijuana franchise was linked to a major international drug cartel. The FBI relocated the Houston franchise for that 50 or so odd games to do undercover operations. We're talking covert high tech secret shit here."

"so why did the pirate franchise relocate then?"

"To give the sport some international flavor. We have all walks of life here, from a thirty something virgin knuckleballer to blue lightning to the el gig ante sandwich. Plus ain't it pretty up here! Fuck that three river bullshit. That place is a raging cess pool."

both the men got a good laugh on that note. Suddenly, a knock came to the door.

"come in," said Daly.

in the doorway stood Vladmir Petrov. "Gentlemen, I have your codes to the nukes. Me and song Yong are about to go off. Only way that doesn't happen is if we win the whole fucking thing. Losses here and there don't bother us. But if we don't make playoffs, or win World Series, the United States go.....

boom. Dynamite. Have a good day sirs." Petrov then walked away into the darkness of the clubhouse.

"what the crap was that! You think he's messing with us!"

"really hard to say. You have a Russian and a Korean. Both countries aren't really on the United States Christmas card list right now. Guess we have 156 more games to figure out the answer to that one."

petrov walked back back into the office. "Just kidding guys. Been a rough day. We all need wodka."

"here, here!"
 
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Plotty

Tath Meacher
40 Lbs of Cubbie Rape
More Miner Devastation in 13-1 Chicago Win.

Chicago, IL. (PSN) - Travis Wood looked for any way and means to get revenge on the Fairbanks Gold Miners.

He found it in a complete game performance. Plus some help from his buddies.

The Cubs reaped the benefit from 10 walks issued by Miner pitchers, and Starlin Castro homers and drove in four runs to pace the Cubs to a 13-1 win.

While Miner manager W.Z. Nelson wasn't enthused with the performance, he was much more at ease compared to the tirade he unleashed last night in St. Louis.

"Dumbass Commie fucker. Disgrace our country with that stunt he pulled, I have nuke codes, etc. he got his punishment, good and proper. I wanted Chicago to beat our heads in. I didn't care if that Russian asshole took a line drive off his Putin ass melon head. He will respect this country and it's people."

in a similar response, the Miner offense took the day off, by notching one run on four hits. The lone run was scored on Don Drain's third home run of the season.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Miners Lose Again
Much Fight in Ballclub, but Lack of Hits Undermines Miners.

Chicago, IL (PSN) - Edwin Jackson was pure nails. The Fairbanks Gold Miners were not, again.

The Cubs starting pitcher confused and confounded the Miner offense, allowing two hits over 8.2 innings to lead the Cubs to a 3-0 win.

Miner manager W.Z. Nelson saw progress in the loss. "Hell yes there was progress. We didn't get blown out again. But our damn offense took the day off. This game is about both sides of the ball, we have to put both sides together to win games. And right now we sure as shit not doing that."

That said, Nelson saw some guts in the ball club, especially from his starter Nikolai Krause. "Krause fought hard. He just left a few pitches in places where they were able to be hit hard. And in a tough game like this, it doesn't take much."

What at made it tougher for the Miners was the ineptness on the offense. The Miners just had two hits, both singles by Teddy Sheridan and Don Drain.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Miners Get Off Schnide
Unknown Kloog Shuts Cubs Down.

Chicago, IL (PSN) - W.Z. Nelson may have found his most consistent starter in Robby Kloog. Even this writer doesn't know who the hell or where the guy came from.

But thank God he's on this team.

The unknown starting pitcher from Omaha pitched the best game for the Miners this season, allowing four hits over seven shutout innings to lead the Miners to a 3-2 win.

The game wasn't in grave doubt, as the Miners took a 3-0 lead by the fifth inning behind an RBI single by Charles Johnson and a two run home run by Andrew McCutcheon. But it did get exciting in the ninth inning.

"El Gigante Sandwich" Was called on to shut the door. Catcher Wellington Castillo reared his ugly head, blasting a 2-1 fastball over the left center field wall for a two run home run. But the Giant Sandwich would recoup himself and get 3B Donnie Murphy to ground out to end the ball game.

McCutcheon and C Teddy Sheridan each had two hits to lead the Miner offense. Sheridan is now batting .371 on the season.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Shirt Back On
Despite 18 Hits, Miners Unable to Cash in Extra Innings Loss.

Milwaukee, WI (PSN) - 18 hits. And yet the Fairbanks Gold Miners could not cash in a sixth or seventh run scored.

OF Khris Davis hit a two run home run in the bottom of the 15th inning to lead the Milwaukee Brewers to a 7-5 win.

"Heartbreaker of a loss," said manager W.Z. Nelson, "we had multiple opportunities to punch one in but we were not able to. But we did see what this offense is capable of with the 18 hits."

The disclaimer from the message was of those 18 hits, 12 came from three players: Starling Marte, Song Dong-Yong and Teddy Sheridan. Sheridan, who had a day off, was called upon as a pinch hitter in the ninth inning and went 4-for-4.

And another bad: the Gold Miners grounded into four double plays and were caught stealing twice. Don Drain was hung the Golden Sombrero with a four strikeout performance.

One more bad again were the walks issued by Gold Miner pitchers. They issued 7, six from starter James Partee. Rog Patrick took the loss by allowing one run and seven hits over five innings of relief.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
P-E-D-S Strike Again!
OF Braun Crushes HR to Dash Victory from Miners.

Milwaukee, WI (PSN) - Ryan Braun took the 2013 season off due to PED use. One would wonder if he's still using.

The Brewer outfielder squelched victory away from the Fairbanks Gold Miners with a clutch three run home run off of reliever Tony Watson in the eighth inning, and a brigade of relievers slowed the Miner rally to lead Milwaukee to a 4-3 win.

"Another crappy way to lose. We had that game almost in the bag, but it wasn't meant to be this time," said manager W.Z. Nelson, "no one to pin the loss on, though. This was a team loss."

Even the pitching couldn't quite be blamed this game. They kept the Gold Miners in the ball game with 12 strikeouts, six from starter Dave Johnson. "My knuckled was working well. Teddy though I'd wish he let me throw my fast ball. It may be Reagan like at 85, but you mix it with a dead knuckler, it's a good mix."

Teddy Sheridan continues his torrid hitting pace, slamming two more hits including his league leading fifth home run. He is now batting .441 with 11 runs batted in.

Fairbanks fell to 3-8 on the young season. Nelson still remains upbeat about this team.

"We had a tough stretch here. But the guys have battled through some things. It's starting to turn around on both sides of the ball. We're due to breakout here soon. I feel it."
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Pulled from the Fire
Huaranga Delivers Game Winning RBI to Avoid Sweep.

Milwaukee, WI (PSN) - Cristobal Huaranga would be the first to admit, not much has gone right for his season so far.

Today might that game where things break out for not just him, but his ball club.

Huaranga, who was batting .126 on the season, delivered a clutch RBI single in the ninth inning that scored Ernie Heist. Closer Giant Sandwich Melendez slammed the door in the bottom of the inning to preserve a 2-1 win.

"we were on the verge of another extra inning affair," said manager W.Z. Nelson, "and fortunately, Cristobal fell back into his Latino roots and delivered off that pedestal in Chile. But like yesterday was a team loss....today was a team win. We kept fighting and found a way."

Starting pitcher Vladmir Petrov fell ill after only throwing 3 and two thirds innings. However, he was sharp, striking out six. Gerrit Cole rebounded from some horrific performances to notch five strikeouts of his own. He only allowed just four hits.

Mark Melancon and Melendez was able to keep the Brewer offense off the board over the last inning and a third to save the win.

Andrew McCutchen had three hits and a run scored to lead the Gold Miner offense. Ernie Heist had two hits, and a stolen base to aid in the cause.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Chance to get some season stats? Keep putting up the good fight, @Plotty.

Coming soon! I've played a lot of games ahead of time, I'd say look for em at the end of each month or so. Right now it's too small of a sample size...plus they are pretty damn ugly.

we do win some more games in the latest batch I've played! doe...
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
The Week Ahead
At Cincinnati
Krause (Fair) v. Cueto (Cin)
Kloog (Fair) v. Cingrani (Cin)
Partee (Fair) v. Francis (Cin)

vs. Milwaukee
Lohse (Mil) v. Johnson (Fair)
Garza (Mil) v. Petrov (Fair)
Gallardo (Mil) v. Krause (Fair)
Estrada (Mil) v. Kloog (Fair)
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Cincin-blasti
Five Run Eighth sinks Gold Miners.

Cincinnatti, OH (PSN) - Todd Frazier opened the door, and Ryan Ludwick hammered it shut.

Frazier made it on base all four plate appearances, while Ludwick crushed a three run home run to cap off a five run eighth inning to lead the Reds to a 9-5 win. Frazier scored three times and drove in three runs. Ludwick drove in four more.

"There really wasn't much different we would have done in that game," said manager W.Z. Nelson, "it was a good game across the board. Our bullpen was taxed, so we had to go to a different reliever than usual. Unfortunately Dez wasn't able to finish the deal."

The Miner offense again showed signs of active life against Red starter Johnny Cueto. The Miners notched 12 hits, three more off of hot catcher Teddy Sheridan, including two doubles. He drove in three of the five Miner runs.

"Our running game got started in this ball game too," said Nelson, "Marte and Ernie each stole two bases. With those guys around the top of the lineup, they give opposing teams headaches when they get on base."

"I still feel confident that things are clicking for us, and the wins will start to pile on. We are on the brink."
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Kloog the King
Dominating Performance by Miner Pitcher Leads to Win.

Cincinnatti, OH (PSN) - This Robby Kloog guy is one tough hombre, says Giant Sandwich Melendez.

Kloog is nails, says another Gold Miner.

Kloog again proved his mettle in a pressure cooker of a ball game, and came up diamonds. The rookie from Omaha tossed seven and one third innings of four hit ball, striking out eight. Then the shaky bullpen followed suit with a shutdown of the mighty Red offense to lead the Miners to a 3-1 win.

"Damn we are lucky to have that Kloog guy," said manager W.Z. Nelson, "the guy is tough as hell to hit, and has balls of steel. No fear. He stepped up and delivered another awesome performance. Thankfully this time we had some offense to get the win today."

Nelson also credited his offense for being patient, "Tony Cingrani is a tough dude. We just kept patient and worked for our pitches. Donny Drain milked Cingani for two walks, and Huaranga and Somg Yong also drew walks too. We are now starting to buy into the system and it's paying off."

Starling Marte delivered one of the two big hits of the ball game, a two run single as a part of a three run fifth inning.

Another guy Nelson gave credit to was SS Charles Johnson. "Chuck is starting to see the ball really well now. The one for four might not prove it, but he's laying off of pitches a week ago he'd hack at."

"Again, like I said yesterday, we are finding our niche. Get on the hype wagon now while there is room."​
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Hype Wagon Derailed
Miners Get Just Two Hits in 1-0 Loss.

Cincinnatti, OH (PSN) - Two hours, nineteen minutes. 8 hits between both teams. And one run.

Unfortunately, the Fairbanks Gold Miners were on the short end of the final game of the three game set with the Cincinnatti Reds, losing 1-0 on an RBI double by Ryan Ludwick in the bottom of the seventh inning.

"That fucking loss was all on me," said a dejected W.Z. Miller, whose Gold Miners fall to 5-10 on the season, "totally my fault. I should have pulled Jimmy when he was starting to lose his control. He was tough as crap today. If we'd just found a run here and there, though..."

The Miner offense, which had shown signs of life the past several games, was shut down against crafty starter Jeff Francis. Francis allowed just one hit over six innings. He struck out five and walked two.

The only real threat for the Miners was made in the ninth inning. After a Jordy Mercer walk, Charles Johnson pinch ran and stole second. But Omir Santos and Starling Marte grounded out against Reds closer Aroldis Chapman to end the game

Partee, on the other hand, was the hard luck loser. He allowed the one run on six hits. He walked two and struck out seven.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Dickerson ASSes Brew Crew
Sparsely used OF hammers game winning PH HR.

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OF Chris Dickerson sends the Fairbanks faithful home happy!

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - Things looked bleak for the Fairbanks Gold Miners. Then Chris Dickerson brightened everyone's day.

The hardly used outfielder, who had just Nine at bats prior to his pinch hit assignment, drilled a 3-2 fast ball from Jim Henderson for a game winning two run home run. "absolutely huge hit for Dickie there," said manager W.Z. Nelson, "he plugged those brewers in the ass good and proper."

"We have the team game going again," added Nelson, "we managed 10 hits and got good pitching to get the win. Justin Wilson was nails out of the pen. He had needed some time off, he was getting worked quite a bit. The time was perfect to get him in there."

Charles Johnson and Roger Murdoch each had two hits to aid in the win.

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Plotty

Tath Meacher
No Doubt, Gwen Stefani
Five Run Sixth Inning Leads Miners to Consecutive Wins.

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - The good PEDs made its way to the Alaskan coast.

The Miners hammered four home runs, and Charles Johnson continues to heat up with a perfect three for three day as they beat the Milwaukee Brewers again, 6-4.

Homering for the Miners were Starling Marte, Roger Murdoch, Song Dong-Yong and Zech Renfro. Murdoch and Renfros homers were two run shots.

Vladmir Petrov again fell ill after a short outing. He did notch six strikeouts but allowed three hits and three runs.

Gerrit Cole continues to turn his season around, as he picked Petrov up with four shoutout innings, striking out six.

The Sandwich munched on the Brewers in the ninth to score his fourth save on the season.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Miners on Fire
McCutchen, Johnson Deliver Key Hits to Put Brewers on Brink of Sweep.

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - W.Z. Nelson envisioned this kind of ball club - simply put, a competitive one.

Charles Johnson homered and drove in three runs, and Andrew McCutchen delivered a clutch RBI double in the seventh inning to hand the Fairbanks Gold Miners a 4-2 win.

"I told you guys earlier that I felt we are finding a groove. We are now in it. Now it's important that we maintain it."

The Miners received a quality start from Nikolai Krause, tossing six innings and allowing two runs and seven hits. He walked three and struck out eight. "Ball broke very well off hand," said Krause, who didn't factor in the loss due to his two runs allowed in the seventh, "I felt good for six inning. But seventh went bad. Skip saved my ass."

The bullpen, behind Mark Melancon, Tony Watson and Ginat Sandwich Melendez, allowed just three walks over the final three innings. Melendez walked a pair but got Rickie Weeks to ground into a game ending 6-4-3 double play.

Don Drain walked three times and scored twice, while Roger Murdoch walked two more times to aid in the Miner offensive charge.
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
"Welcome to the first edition of the radio show the ARctic Slopes Miner Baseball Show, and hey if you haven't noticed, the Miners have begun to play well, managed to win a few here lately, and crawled out of the national league central cellar. Let's take some calls. First up is Dave in Keokuk. Welcome to show, Dave."

"yeah, thanks for taking my call. What's the story with some of these crappy batting averages? 179, 184? We'd be undefeated if they'd hit the ball consistently. I'll hang up and listen off air. K thanks bye."

"wow, a doozy out of the gate. Remember these guys, with the exception of McCutch and Marte and the bench guys, a lot of em are green rookies, ok. So like Huaranga and Murdoch, sure they're scuffling so far. But it's a small sample size. They'll find their pitches and start hitting. So believe that they'll get there. But I also wouldn't be lying is if they were still down there by late May...we see some roster moves. In murdochs defense....he's drawn a bunch of walks and has hit a few homers. So if there was anyone first on the block, it'd have to be Huaranga. But as said, small sample size. Next call....is Manson from Juneau. What's up Manson?"

"how does that manager balance out the characters in that clubhouse? The Russian, Cuban and other walks of life? Crazy if you ask me. Love the show so far."

"w.z. Sure does have the hands full with those guys. I mean with all the world issues today then Vladmir Petrov comes out with the nuke comment. You have to wonder if it was said in jest to get the team to relax. Add in the tenseness with the Korean, song dong-Yong. But he's been as calm as nails so far. Next up is bear from anchorage. Growl at me Bear."

"can someone help out our pitchers with their control issues? Man that one game where we walked a village...I tore my radio off the wall."

"I go back to the youth comment with the hitters. The staff is pretty young as well, with the exception of old man Dave Johnson. His knuckle ball will cause hairs to split and fall out, so bear with him. But the others I do agree...they need to find some control before they do kill someone. There are a lot of fireballers out there. On average the pitching staff averages....Averages 95 mph on their two seamer. Crazy. And that's why they are leading the league in strikeouts. Last call to Steve from Nebraska."

"that team needs one more pitcher...I'm looking to come back.."

*deadair*
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
How Sweep it Is!
Renfro Sends Em Home Happy.

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Brewer outfielder Ryan Braun watches helplessly as Zech Renfro's fly ball crosses over the fence for a game winning home run.

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - Chalk that one in the ugly as sin category, but a win is a win.

Zech Renfro, who was scheduled a day off, ended up playing when Starling Marte showed up ill to the clubhouse. Must have been poetic justice.

In what was one of the uglier games of the season, the home team was sent home happy as Renfro sent a 3-2 Mike Fiers change up one foot over Ryan Brauns glove in right field for a walk off grand slam, and a 4-0 Miner win and subsequent sweep of the Milwaukee Brewers.

"We didn't see the ball well, we hardly hit the ball until late in the game. I musta aged about 39 years today," said manager W.Z. Nelson, "fortunately our pitching again was lights out to keep us in it. Robby again delivered seven solid innings, and Rog Patrick nailed the back end down."

Robby Kloog again was lights out, pitching seven strong innings. He allowed just three hits. He struck out seven and walked two.

"But the twelve. Strikeouts. Yikes."

the final rally for the Miners started with singles by Charles Johnson and Ernie Heist. After a Teddy Sheridan strikeout, Roger Murdoch slapped a single to right. Song Domg-Yong popped out. That set the stage for Renfro.

"I didn't think I hit it hard enough. But it kept going. Then Braun didn't really reach for the ball. Pretty weird."

Murdoch and Jordy Mercer each had two hits to lead the Miners.
 
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Plotty

Tath Meacher
Still holding for stats...fuck.

EDIT: Yay, thanks to looking @Hachiko s spic dynasty, I figured it out. only wish is I could make table a little larger.

current stats are through 19 games.

 
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Plotty

Tath Meacher
The Week Ahead
vs. Cincinnatti
Cingrani v. Partee
Francis v. DJohnson
Latos v. Petrov
Bailey v. Krause

at St. Louis
Kloog v. Kelly
Partee v. TBA
DJohnson v. TBA
 

Plotty

Tath Meacher
Miners Split Pair With Cincy
Moose Stampede Leads to Doubleheader.

Fairbanks, AK (PSN) - They always say if baseball gets boring, just wait. In Fairbanks, no waiting was necessary.

After GM Blake Daly announced the reacquiring of former Pirate 3B Pedro Alvarez and C Russell Martin, a wild moose stampeded into Arctic Slopes Stadium, injuring 12 fans. Daly subsequently announced the suspension of the first game with Cincinnatti.

"first of all, our prayers are with those injured in the stampede," Daly said, "this was quite an unique situation. Never in Major League Baseball history has something like this occurred. No one is to blame. It just happens."

when asked about the signing of Alvarez and Martin, Daly was quick to reassure that current 3B Zech Renfro and C Teddy Sheridan were not losing their starting jobs. "This was purely a move for roster flexibility. Fuck guys, Renfro just won the game for us Sunday. You think I'd cut him now? And Sheridan is off to a great start. Stupid thoughts if you ask me."

Alvarez didn't waste much time in sparking some controversy. He went three for three in his season debut with a home run and a double. Martin, as the DH in game one, went zero for three with a walk. Starling Marte had two hits and two RBI and a stolen base to aid in the Miners game one win.

Jimmy Partee buried the Reds with his electric fastball, often registering over 100 miles per hour. He allowed one run on four hits, while striking out nine and walking two.

Game Two was a bit different. Cincinnatti was able to finally solve the riddle behind Miner pitching, sprinting to a 4-0 lead by the fourth inning. The Miners would fight back to take a 7-4 lead into the ninth inning, but Cincinnatti would erupt for five runs in the ninth to take game two, 9-7.

The Miners responded with three runs in their part of the fourth inning, and two more in the fifth to take a 5-4 lead. Martin hit a two run home run, while Marte and Charles Johnson each delivered RBI producing hits. Johnson, after not playing in game one, went four for five to bump his batting average to a team leading .328.

A two run double by scuffling Don Drain in the seventh seemed to be the final blow. But Cincinnatti had much different plans.

Giant Sandwich Melendez was torched in the ninth inning, allowing five runs on four hits. Jay Bruce delivered the fatal salvo, as he crushed a three run home run.
 
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