Hachiko's Spirit of Leafa College Football Dynasty

[Hachiko]

Return To Sender: Mononobe's Pick Party Powers Leafa's Pluck

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
October 11, 2076

The defencive captain and strong safety for Dan Harding's Leafa Spirit Gridiron, Ray Mononobe had his best outing in the colors of the Green and Gold and White, making seven tackles and three interceptions as Leafa methodically wore down the Boise State Broncos, 122-20, at Bronco Stadium in Boise, Idaho, USA despite closing the opening term with a 10-3 quarter time lead. Quarterback Shae Katou-Aki was poor under center, passing for 241 yards and an interception but made up for his unproductive arm with overproducing legs, rushing for 312 yards and nine touchdowns.

Halfback Jack Fukushina ran for 206 yards and a major, halfback Dana Rinaldi ran for 143 yards and two touchdowns, wide receiver Jiji Petricca caught seven passes for 85 yards and wideout Jarryd Kaizuka was a one-man blocking crew, recording a personal-best 31 pancake blocks on the day.

Cornerback Vern Dahlgren returned an interception 11 yards for a touchdown on defence while strong safety Gilles Troyard recorded two sacks and five tackles for loss. Middle linebacker Rhys Miyazawa led the defence in tackling with 18 tackles and five tackles for loss while outside linebacker Wes Narukami added 16. In relief, defensive tackle Shaun Hijirikawa returned an interception 42 yards for a touchdown while two other players on defence also had a pick.

Leafa improve to 5-0 and continue their race for their fifth straight BCS Championship next weekend when they host the UNLV Rebels at Subaru Pleiades Stadium in Canberra, ACT.

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[Hachiko]

Week 8 2076 Preview

 

[Hachiko]

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Tim Bergling (Avicii) and Hikari Sakurada, the great-grandfather and mother (respectively) of Nick Bergling.​

Nick Bergling: Part Of A Massive Flood Of Cornerback Recruits

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
October 12, 2076

It seems that depth in the secondary has rectified itself in every way for Dan Harding's Leafa College Spirit Gridiron. Over the past two weeks, three cornerbacks and one strong safety have committed to the programme. One of those comes from a famous upbringing: Nick Bergling is the son of former idol Hikari Sakurada and the great-grandson of Tim Bergling, known as the deejay Avicii. Part Swedish, part Japanese, all Australia, Nicklas Ryuuchi Sakurada Bergling was born in Stockholm, Sweden after a honeymoon gone off the rails but moved to Launceston, Tasmania with his extended family at the age of two. Nick grew up on AFL but had a soft side for gridiron.

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Hikari Sakurada and Sachiko Yonezawa, the parents of Nick Bergling and Scott Sakurada.​

"My extended family love the sport of gridiron because my parents, aunts and uncle watched the sport in Japan and America on business trips," said Nick from his parents' house in Launceston. "I also like experimenting with the equipment in my studio that I have in my mom's basement. I correlate the game plan of coaches in sports to producing a good song using the mixers and other resources that my dad purveyed for me.

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"I have plans to continue working on different sound samples and different mixes if my playing career doesn't work out, but I love the game of gridiron. My favorite NFL team is the Raiders because I love their cheer outfits and my mom used to cosplay in one of those outfits when she was younger. And their motto: Commitment To Excellence, is something that I adopt every day I do my work.

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"After visiting the campus while the Spirit griddies were training, I had some time to think about whether or not I wanted to take the plunge. My cousin, Adam Sakurada (the son of Teru Sakurada), also had interest in challenging me for a spot in next year's team. So, by agreement, we decided to declare for the Leafa Spirit this past weekend so that we can make a promise to make the cut next winter while we settle into uni life.

"There will only be three cornerbacks that will return next season, I think, and there will be some space that needs to be had. Coach Harding is heavily investing in the secondary because they play a massive role in his system. He believes that everyone should get a chance to play if they work hard enough to maintain a spot on the list. It's like going through training to be available for selection on an AFL club week in, week out. It's a nice parallel.

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"It won't be an easy road because there are only so many spots that can be filled. But I have this unshakable belief in me that if I have a go at camp, and I make the cut, everything will be easy because I have pictured in my head what's going to happen and what needs to be done and what I have to improve in. My mum tells me, 'Nick, you need to keep your wits about you and anticipate the next move and visualize it in your head. You're a grown man now, it's your call and duty to do the right thing and know where you want to be.' As long as I can also get some time to do some sound engineering work, I'll be happy at Leafa."

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[Hachiko]

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Erina Shindou, the mother of future Leafa Spirit cornerback Norm Mitsuka.​

Normie From Lara To Join The Spirit In 2077

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
October 13, 2076

Rounding out the trio of Mitsuka stepbrothers to play for the Leafa College Spirit of Norman Smith Hijiri "Norm" Mitsuka, named after the late AFL great Norm Smith. Unlike his big brothers Andrew and Charles who play fullback, Norm plays cornerback and is one of three cornerbacks that have signed with Dan Harding's Spirit Gridiron for the 2077 season, ensuring that the secondary depth is continuous for a few years more.

Norm is the son of Erina Shindou and Souji Mitsuka and would have been named Hitagi if he was born a woman with the nickname of Tail Brown. Norm is also a Hawthorn FC fan and has been to a few AFL Grand Finals at the Melbourne Cricket Ground in his younger years. He signed with the Spirit last weekend and when asked of his chance to continue the bloodline of Mitsukas to compete for Leafa, he was grinning.

"Now you get to see the Mitsuka legacy on the defensive side of the ball too," said Norm, who is also known as "Normie From Lara." "Up until now, my big brother Andy held the fort down but since he's graduating, me and Chaz are taking over for him to ensure that when it comes to the Leafa Boys, the Mitsukas are leading the way. My mum Erina was excited when I told her that I committed to the Spirit and so far, she's stocking on on supplies that I need when I take the train over to the capital.

"I understand that the Sakurada combine is my primary competition for a cornerback slot. Competition is great because when there is competition for a position, it means we have excellent depth and all the players are given a notice to improve or get lost behind. Coach Alcasid is a great guy that I met during my visit. I was able to taste a really good oxtail stew that's called 'kare-kare' and is served during potlucks and big dinner functions. I just hope that I don't see him leave when I get on campus because I know that coaches are lured by the money and the challenge of coaching American teams.

"But whether or not Coach Alcasid is who I play for next year, I'm not going anywhere because I know I'll get my shot at impressing Coach Harding, who I know won't be going anywhere soon. He likes building this programme and is proud of all the mates that have put on the pads and helmet of the team. So I look forward to making a name for myself with Chaz and the mates next season."

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[Hachiko]

More Of The Sakuradas Expected To Sign After Leafa Smash UNLV

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
October 18, 2076

A number of recruits associated with the Sakurada combine were on hand to watch Dan Harding's Leafa Spirit Gridiron paste UNLV at Subaru Pleiades Stadium by the tune of 178-38. Quarterback Shae Katou-Aki was a gem under center, passing for 435 yards, rushing for 168 yards and scoring 11 total touchdowns on offence. Defencively, cornerback Sebastian Kamiya was lights-out, recording seven interceptions despite just one tackle.

Halfback Jack Fukushina ran for 245 yards and seven touchdowns while catching for one more, backup quarterback Kaz Kasumigaoka ran for 117 yards and two majors, wide receiver Jiji Petricca caught nine passes for 126 yards and five scores and wideout Ledley Aki caught six passes for 98 yards and two touchdowns. Petricca also made 22 pancake blocks to lead the blockers while Aki added 18.

Cornerback Lloy Auerbach led the defence in tackling with 10 tackles and five sacks. Cornerback Vern Dahlgren and defensive end Case Tasmin-Jagger each had three sacks while free safety Hugh Otosaka had two interceptions.

The Leafa Spirit Gridiron improve to 6-0 and return to action next week against the New Mexico Lobos on the road.

 

[Hachiko]

Week 9 2076 Preview

 

[Hachiko]

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Misaki Sakurada, the mother of Michael Farriss.

Michael Farriss, Rome Arpinion and Storm Ingvalt round out Sakuradas

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
October 20, 2076

Wide receiver Michael Farriss is the son of Misaki Sakurada and outside linebackers Rome Arpinion and Storm Ingvalt are the sons of Aoi and Kanade Sakurada, respectively. Hailing from different towns, these members of the far-flung Sakurada family have committed to the Leafa Spirit Gridiron team after a strong performance from the Spirit over UNLV in Week 8 of the 2076 college gridiron season. Farriss also is the great-great-grandson of Andrew Farriss of INXS.

"This is a great week for the three of us," said Farriss this week via telephone in Perth. "Me, Rome and Storm talked about joining the team via the social [media] and we met last weekend in Canberra to visit the campus. We were sold on everything: the environment, the courses, the atmosphere, the tradition...it was a great fit capped off wit a big win."

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Aoi Sakurada, the mother of Rome Arpinion.​

"Deffo a great call by us to come here and commit to Leafa Town," said Arpinion. "My mum was very bullish on me reuniting with Cousin Jack and I got to meet him at training and after the game. I think his game play convinced me to join him, and with the rest of our family coming in, we're going to be a tough team to beat for a few years."

Kanade Sakurada, the mother of Storm Ingvalt.​

"I think it was the advice of Aunt Hana [Satou] that convinced me to come down here, not so much my own mum's advice," said Storm. "Joel and Scott and Adam already committed to the program, so I decided that because Aunt Hana told me to, I would go. I got treated like a VIP, I couldn't believe it. And there was no turning back."

Leafa hit the road this weekend to face the New Mexico Lobos. The match will be broadcast on 5AO and the 5AO Leafa Sports Radio Network.

 

[Hachiko]

With Authority: Leafa Spirit Down New Mexico Away

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
October 25, 2076

Second-year quarterback Shae Katou-Aki passes for 314 yards, ran for 515 yards and scored 12 touchdowns on offense to give Dan Harding's Leafa Spirit Gridiron a 149-3 victory over the New Mexico Lobos at University Stadium in Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA. Middle linebacker Rhys Miyazawa led the team defencively with 15 tackles, two tackles for loss, a sack and a forced fumble.

Halfback Jack FUkushina ran for 241 yards and a touchdown while receiving six passes for 66 yards, halfback Dana Rinaldi ran for 241 yards and seven majors, wide receiver Jarryd Kaizuka caught three passes for 73 yards and a pair of touchdown passes and wideout Jiji Petricca led the team in blocks with 28 pancakes. Kaizuka also had 13 pancakes, while tight end Max Haimura had 12.

Left end Steele Craftman paced a steady pass rush with two sacks, while strong safety and defencive captain Ray Mononobe had a pair of interceptions. Two other players on defence each had an interception, while five other players on defence each had a sack. Safety Gilles Troyard led the teach in tackles for loss with four.

Leafa improve to 7-0 and return to action next week against the Colorado State Rams at home.

 

[Hachiko]

Week 10 2076 Preview

 

[Hachiko]

Mizuki Sera, the grandmother of Val Kiryuu-Cranell (on his mother's side).​

Val Kiryuu-Cranell: The Valkyrie Of Record

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
October 27, 2076

Valerian Kiryuu-Cranell was named after St. Valerian, a husband of St. Cecilia, the patroness of musicians. An engineering major, Kiryuu-Cranell has a penchant for playing jazz tunes with his alto saxophones, often recording session numbers with a number of his mates on the Leafa Spirit Gridiron team. On the pitch, he is known as the Valkyrie, the roaming defensive end of note. Like the Norse mythological goddess that picks who gets to go to Valhalla and who doesn't, Val Kiryuu-Cranell determines if he should stop the run or go for the pass rush by taking what the offense gives him.

"I pick my poison, of course," said Kiryuu-Cranell after playing a few tunes on his sax after practice. "The great thing about being a defensive end is that I can use my speed and frame to make the quarterback honest. If he hands it off, I pursue the tailback for a loss. If he chooses to pass, he has only three or four seconds to make up his mind because I am getting to him almost instantly.

Mizuki Sera with Iris Shirasaki, the grandaunt of Val Kiryuu-Cranell (on his mother's side).​

"Me and Big Ben [Ayugase] are the right ends on the team after Tove [Lo] moved over to the offensive line. However, Tove has been teaching me the fundamentals of a good pass rush because he's had years of experience playing at the position. He teaches me proper technique, the right stand, and the best way to go after the quarterback with stunts and twists. Coach Gil [Tavares]'s strategies have also been very useful. I think Coach Gil is the best defensive line coach in the country and he's going to be sorely missed if he ends up going elsewhere.

"On campus I am an engineering major and I want to help develop new machinery for big aerospace companies around the world. The engineering courses at Leafa are really intense and focus on the individual rather than the team. The skills of the students are put to the test through the exams and the lectures from the professors out here. You can't half-arse the units that I am taking here. Doing the work and applying what you know ASAP are the rule here at Leafa."

Leafa College return to action next weekend against the Colorado State Rams next week at Subaru Pleiades Stadium in Canberra, ACT. The match will be broadcast by 5AO and the 5AO Sports Radio Network on the radio, One nationally and globally on One World Sports.

 

[Hachiko]

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A Chat With Nao Tomori Over Leafa College's Progression

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
October 28, 2076

Carol Craftman of the Spirit News, Leafa College's independently-run student newspaper, spoke with Leafa College Provost Nao Tomori about the progress the college has made over the past few years with the success of its academics and its athletic programs.

"I think the humanities aspect of learning at this college gives our men and women an understanding of the world around them and the insight that is valuable to the leaders of the free world that I have met for the past few years prior to taking up this position back in January," said Tomori. "Most of the world's leaders today come from humanities backgrounds. Thinking, judgment, adaptability...these are the facets to a Leafa education that have helped mold many great people that have walked our hallowed grounds.
"When it comes to the financial sector, I like to start off with something simple. Look arond the campus. Here in Leafa Town, there is something that can interest you, can stimulate your curiosity and can help build the foundation of knowledge that leads to untold success and potential. This is something that my predecessor, Kyouko Sonan advocated: the power of exploration.

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"Stand up for what you believe in. In this country, you are not kept in check for what you can or can't say. As students, you have a voice, you are in power, use it to change the world. Our motto is 'Lift Your Spirit Higher.' Elevate your leverage and challenge the establishment to improve itself for the good of those around you and the world. We are a teaching and research college, a part of the Mitakihara University System, one of the most well-known systems in the world.


"One thing I don't like is manipulating the endowment for political purposes, because we are a nonprofit university system. I don't believe this college should be used to give ammunition to people who rely on tax endowments to boost government coffers. We have our own path, and our standards, and our student body is aware that there are limits to what we can do based on our bylaws ratified in 2045.

"Sexual violence is a cause for concern at Leafa. The tendencies of grown men to take advantage of young women at Leafa College is something that must be held in check. Through awareness, we can prevent sexual violence and harassment while supporting the victims. On the topic of diversity, it's not the be-all, end-all. We need to be inclusive and through inclusivity, we will progress and transform ourselves as a respected institution in Australia.

"So, to all students in high school who are looking for a place to continue their journey, don't underestimate yourself. Reach out for the stars. Reach out for Leafa. We will be your path to great things. At Leafa College, we will lift your spirit higher."

 

[Hachiko]

Koutarou Amon and Akira Mado, the great-grandparents of Angelo Amon (on his father's side).​

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Angelo Amon: The Next Great Narrator

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
October 29, 2076

Standing at a tall 5'11" and 184 lbs, strong safety Angelo Amon is the great-grandson of Koutarou Amon and Akira Mado on his father's side and grandson of Ichigo Moesaki on his mother's side. Outside of the game of gridiron, Amon's passion is voice narration, and at the age of 15, Amon was seen as someone with a natural talent for voice acting. When he isn't picking off passes or hitting players or studying, Amon is seen working shifts at Fremantle Recording Studios recording voice clips for different companies across the state of Western Australia and the country.

Ichigo Moesaki, the grandmother of Angelo Amon (on his mother's side). ​

"I like narration," said Amon from his home in Fremantle. "When I lend my voice to ads, I give my personality, my thoughts, my perspective on a brand, on a product, on a service. Narrating allows me to have a better understanding of the world I work and live in and it helps me become more responsible as an end-user of the products I use and the services I rely on.

"On the field, I like to play strong safety because I am essentially the last line of defense. If a quarterback wants to throw a long pass deep, it need to get past me first before it can make a long play work. I keep my wits about me to ensure that I get to the pass first ahead of the wide receiver because so many good quarterbacks have strong passing games every week in gridiron."

Leafa continue their season this weekend against the Colorado State Rams in Mountain West Conference action. The match will be televised on 5AO, the 5AO Sports Radio Network, One and One World Sports.

 

[Hachiko]

Leafa College stomp past Colorado State at home

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 1, 2076

Halfback Jack Fukushina, a first-year phenom, had his breakout game rushing for 561 yards and nine touchdowns as Dan Harding's Leafa College Spirit destroyed the Colorado State Rams, 139-17. Cornerback Geronimo Hikigaya had nine tackles, a tackle for loss and an interception to lead the Spirit defence. Quarterback Shae Katou-Aki ran for 261 yards, passed for 163 yards and scored eight touchdowns on offence.

In terms of blocking, wide receiver Jarryd Kaizuka led the way with 29 pancakes while wide receiver Jiji Petricca had 12 and right tackle/converted right end Tove Lo had 11. Fifth-year cornerback Sebastian Kamiya had 12 tackles to lead the defence in tackling. Kieran Hyakuya and Steele Craftman each had three sacks, while Gilles Troyard and Wes Narukami each had two. Maynard Nakiri-Wiles returned an interception 34 yards for a major late in the contest.

"We have a difficult road trip coming up in the next two weeks," said Coach Harding after the match. "We won't rush Brett [Inohara] into action so we won't have him on the plane for our final road trip. We are hoping to have him on the field for the final home stretch to close the home-and-away season but aggravating his fibula is the last thing we need since Jack's had a great game today."

Leafa improve to 8-0 and return to action next week against the Nevada Wolf Pack at Mackay Stadium in Reno, Nevada, USA.

 

[Hachiko]

Week 11 2076 Preview

 

[Hachiko]

Two Boys From Alice Springs Join The Leafa Spirit

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 3, 2076

Alice Springs, North Australia will have its first-ever players play for the Leafa College Spirit. Cornerback Lorem Ipsum, the son of an Aboriginal stockman, and wide receiver Etaoin Shrdlu, a member of the Arrernte People, are the first indigenous players to join the Spirit in what is a victory for diversity and multicultural tolerance. While they are natives of Alice Springs, Ipsum (born Loren Epsom Namatjira) and Shrdlu (born Etienne Mabo-Goodes) have played club football for the South City Chiefs of Adelaide in their youth and their families own summer homes in Alberton.

"I come from a family of patrons of Australian football," said Ipsum. "My dad, who works at Anna Creek, is a Port supporter and wanted me to take part in playing the game of footy. But I wanted to be bold and try a new sport, and lucky, I was scouted by the Chiefs with Eti. Rest in history. Now we get to represent the Outback next season over in Canberra."

"Totally excited for next year, to come in as a first-year and get a chance to earn playing time is really exciting," said Shrdlu. "Mum and Dad are telling me to represent my family loud and proud, stand tall and get the best education possible at Leafa. I couldn't be more over the moon knowing that Leafa is looking here in Central Australia to find the best players. We can hit you hard, we got speed, we have the gift. And we do everything for our country, so count on us and Ippy to get her right."

Leafa College hit the road to face the Nevada Wolf Pack next week at Mackay Stadium in Reno, Nevada, USA. The match will be broadcast on the radio on 5AO and the 5AO Sports Radio Network, One and One World Sports.

 

[Hachiko]

Harding hoping for good Inohara prognosis as Leafa burn Nevada

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 8, 2076

All signs are pointing to a late season return for Leafa Spirit Gridiron second-year halfback Brett Inohara after Coach Dan Harding's Spirit torched the Nevada Wolf Pack at Mackay Stadium in Reno, Nevada, USA, 168-13. Second-year quarterback Shae Katou-Aki passed for 329, ran for 445 and scored 11 total touchdowns on offence. Left outside linebacker Gilles Troyard had nine tackles, seven tackles for loss, five sacks and a fumble recovery.

Halfback Jack Fukushina ran for 135 yards and six touchdowns, halfback Dana Rinaldi ran for 161 yards and three majors while catching four passes for 65 yards and two more major scores, backup quarterback Kaz Kasumigaoka ran for 177 yards and two touchdowns, wide receiver Ledley Aki caught nine passes for 133 yards and a score, and tight end Max Haimura led the blockers with 11 pancakes while giving up a sack.

Middle linebacker Rhys Miyazawa led the defence in tackles with 15 including three for loss and an interceptions, Kieran Hyakuya added three sacks, left end Steele Craftman had four sacks and for the second time in as many games, Maynard Nakiri-Wiles returned an interception for a touchdown late. Two other players on defense also had a pick.

"Prognosis on Brett looks real positive but we're not going to rush him into action unless we're certain he's healthy enough to have a go," said Coach Harding. "I think we'll see him ready to get out there against San Diego State but recovery will ultimately come down to how hard he trains and strengths the durability of the area where he was injured."

Leafa improve to 9-0 and conclude their away ledger next week against the San Jose State Spartans at Spartan Stadium in San Jose, California, USA.

 

[Hachiko]

Week 12 2076 Preview

 

[Hachiko]

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The Mystique of the Peach Melba and Melba Toast

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 11, 2076

The Peach Melba (French: pêche Melba, pronounced [pɛʃ mɛl.ba]) is a dessert of peaches and raspberry sauce with vanilla ice cream. The dish was invented in 1892 or 1893 by the French chef Auguste Escoffier at the Savoy Hotel, London, to honour the Australian soprano Nellie Melba.

In 1892, Nellie Melba was performing in Wagner's opera Lohengrin at Covent Garden. The Duke of Orléans gave a dinner party to celebrate her triumph. For the occasion, Escoffier created a new dessert, and to display it, he used an ice sculpture of a swan, which is featured in the opera. The swan carried peaches which rested on a bed of vanilla ice cream and which were topped with spun sugar. In 1900 Escoffier created a new version of the dessert. For the occasion of the opening of the Carlton Hotel, where he was head chef, Escoffier omitted the ice swan and topped the peaches with raspberry purée.

Other versions of this dessert use pears, apricots, or strawberries instead of peaches and/or use raspberry sauce or melted red currant jelly instead of raspberry purée. In tribute to Escoffier an elaborate deconstruction of the Peach Melba was served as the last dish at elBulli prior to its closure in 2012.

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Melba toast is a dry, crisp and thinly sliced toast, often served with soup and salad or topped with either melted cheese or pâté. It is named after Dame Nellie Melba, the stage name of Australian opera singer Helen Porter Mitchell. Its name is thought to date from 1897, when the singer was very ill and it became a staple of her diet. The toast was created for her by chef and fan Auguste Escoffier, who also created the Peach Melba dessert for her. The hotel proprietor César Ritz supposedly named it in a conversation with Escoffier.

Melba toast is made by lightly toasting slices of bread under a grill, on both sides. The resulting toast is then sliced laterally. The thin slices are then returned to the grill with the untoasted sides towards the heat source, resulting in toast half the normal thickness. Thus, it can be described as a twice-baked food.

Melba toast is also available commercially, and was at one time given to infants who were teething as a hard food substance on which to chew. In France, it is referred to as croûtes en dentele. In 1925, the Mayo Brothers prescribed the "Eighteen Day Reducing Diet" to Ethel Barrymore. It included Melba toast, which made the toast very popular at the time.

 

[Bdub]

Damn Hachi that peach Melba looks tasty.

 

[Hachiko]

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Asuka Auerbach, wife of Leafa Spirit cornerback Lloy Auerbach.​

Asuka Auerbach: Lloy's Wife And Personal Bodyguard

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 12, 2076

Asuka Auerbach, a graduate of Hanzo Academy in Tokyo, retired from life as a ninja to live a civilian life in Australia. With an aspiration to work in the field of sports medicine and train mixed martial arts fighters, the former Asuka Harada met Lloy Auerbach, one of Leafa Spirit's top cornerbacks at a meeting in Brisbane in January of this year. Auerbach and Harada liked each other to the fact that they both enrolled at Leafa and are currently first years. Both of them are also married, but not after some agreements were made.

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"Lloy told me, if you are going to be my wife, you need to ditch the ribbon unless I'm playing or it's a major exam we have to take together," Asuka said. "I agree, and as I let down my hair, Lloy placed the engagement ring on my finger and we married on Australia Day in Canberra in an informal ceremony.

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"So now I will do all I can to be a perfect wife, a competent mother and a bodyguard. I can use my ninja skills to protect my husband in the event anyone tries to attack Lloy. I need a man like him in my life because I reached a point in my life where I need a man as a partner. He's got a nice body and he's really good at sex. I'm not kidding, he blows my mind and turns me on so much! Oh my, I'm just blushing just thinking about how much of a man he is! Kyaaaaaaaaah! ///// I want to skinship with him right now, ahahah!

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"Anyway, sorry for fangasming right there, but I love Lloy so much. He means everything to me. Besides football, Lloy's a great study buddy too. He's very smart, resourceful, has a penchant for solving tough equations and logic/common sense stuff. He likes playing music and singing and I sometimes like to dance in front of him to see if he likes it. Every time he makes a good play, my heart skips a beat and I get really warm and wet down there. Every time he intercepts, tackles hard, scores off a turnover...I want to melt into him again and again.

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"I'm so happy that I have a husband in my life. I don't want to be lonely anymore and he always sings about being a lonely boy. That song that his old man loved to sing is his theme song and I sometimes dance to it in my underwear. Oh god, now you're making me say such lewd things, Carol! You perv!

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"Anyway, you know why I love Lloy so much. What can I say? He's got the gift and he's got the genuine package. I hope I can have kids that grow up to be as awesome and adorable as us. I believe it. He does too, and I love him for it. I truly, truly, love Lloy Auerbach. He is my guardian angel. I can't wait to see what the future holds for both of us. It makes my heart race. I'll protect you with my life, Lloy. Oh Lloy...I would die for you! I was made for loving you! If I should die tonight...let it be in your arms!"

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[Hachiko]

Damn Hachi that peach Melba looks tasty.

Oh yes. Thanks for commenting.

 

[Hachiko]

Leafa College rumble past San Jose State, 135-10

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 15, 2076

Shae Katou-Aki passed for 279 yards, ran for 470 yards and scored 10 offencive touchdowns as Dan Harding's Leafa College Spirit defeated the San Jose Spartans, 135-10, at Spartan Stadium in San Jose, Calif. Left outside linebacker Gilles Troyard had eight tackles, four sacks and a forced fumble to lead the defence.

Jack Fukushina ran for 262 yards and two scores, Dana Rinaldi ran for 255 yards and five majors, Ledley Aki caught four passes for 82 yards and a touchdown, Jiji Petricca caught four passes for 71 yards and a touchdown to go with 11 pancakes and Jarryd Kaizuka added nine pancake blocks.

Wes Narukami, one of the old men of the team, had 14 tackles and an interception, Ray Mononobe had 13 tackles and both Vern Dahlgren and Rhys Miyazawa each had 10 tackles. Three different players on defense including Troyard registered four sacks.

Leafa improve to 10-0 and return to action next week at home against the San Diego State Aztecs.

 

[Hachiko]

 

[Hachiko]

Kimito Kagurazaka, the father of Anthony Akihito Kagurazaka.
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Axeman Cometh: Anthony Kagurazaka, the heir to wheat soda and kvass industry

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 18, 2076

Anthony Kagurazaka is a five-star receiver from Yarraville, Victoria. His father is Kimito Kagurazaka and his mother is Aika Tenkuubashi. After emigrating to Australia to allow Kimito and Aika experience the real world, Kimito came up with the ingenious idea of starting up a wheat soda and kvass brewery in Melbourne. Collaborating with sports scientists and nutritionists, and with the blessings of Mick Malthouse's estate (Kimito and Aika are Collingwood Football Club members), Kimito founded Malthouse Brewery and developed the Mick's line of wheat sodas, or malta, and Gorbachev Kvass, or Gorb's.

Wheat soda, and its relative malzbier, is a non-fermented drink that contains nutrients and is a predecessor to the soft drink industry. It also had a Russian version, kvass. Through two years of research and studying the best brewing methods, Kimito and Aika helped pioneer the wheat soda and kvass industry in Australia and Malthouse Brewery's products are enjoyed at AFL, NRL, NBL, Super Rugby, netball and Big Bash League matches across Australia and New Zealand. Mick's Malta and Gorbachev Kvass have won numerous awards around the world for its exceptional taste and quality and are now being produced under license in North America, South America and Asia.

Aika Tenkuubashi, the mother of Anthony Kagurazaka.​

By the time Anthony committed to Leafa College, Mick's and Gorb's had made his parents millionaires, a good deal of the fortunes going to philanthropic endeavors and home improvements...as well as their son's full-ride education. Furthermore, Mick's is the official wheat soda of the AFL and Gorb's is the official kvass of the NRL.

"Mum asked me after I told Coach Harding that I would join the Spirit, 'Son, how are you going to prove yourself out in the capital?'" said Kagurazaka via phone interview, a cool bottle of Gorb's in his hand. "I said, 'I want to carry on Dad's legacy and have a wife and kids of my own, and I'm not gonna let you down. Just watch me.'

Karen Jinryou, the godmother of Anthony Kagurazaka.​

"My godmother for my first six years, Auntie Karen [Jinryou], is a Cats fan and is the manager of a woodchipping plant in Geelong. She declared when I was a baby that I'd be called the Axeman and chop wood, or rather, chip wood just like her. When I started played touch at 10, my peers called me Ags, a nod to my initials A.G., which stand for Anthony Greig. I was named after AFL mind Anthony Hudson and Scottish rugby player Greig Laidlaw, although my Japanese first name is Akihito.

"Over time, Ags became Axe and when I began playing tackle gridiron, I was called the Axeman because I originally played as a cornerback. But one of my youth coaches decided to put me at wide receiver because he thought I would paralyze somebody with my tackling. Turns out, I end up dishing opponents the don't argue and celebrate a touchdown with the tomahawk chop. Been part of my style since.

"I'm glad I get to be a part of a great gridiron team and a great university. So I want to make everyone proud and give it a go for everyone in Yarravile. Watch out, mates in America. We're ready to chop you down."

 

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Leafa Boys run 52 stadium laps after 122-26 Aztec smashing

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 22, 2076

Following a rare safety conceded in the pouring rain at Subaru Pleiades Stadium in Canberra, ACT, Dan Harding's Leafa Spirit Gridiron defeated the San Diego State Aztecs 122-26 but were forced to run 52 stadium laps in their standard-issued green track suits after all the fans and dignitaries cleared out. Making a bee-line that didn't break or lag, they completed the task in 20 minutes flat, which is swift given the distance and time constraint.

Quarterback Shae Katou-Aki passed for 147 yards, ran for 436 yards and scored 10 total touchdowns on offense. Right outside linebacker Wes Narukami registered 14 tackles, a forced fumble and a fumble recovery to lead the defence.

Halfback Jack Fukushina ran for 509 yards and six majors, fullback Max Haimura caught three passes for 86 yards and a score, and both Jiji Petricca and Jackson Kaburaki each recorded 12 pancakes, although Kaburaki was responsible for the sack that led to the safety. Kaburaki was forced to run an extra lap as a result and did it in two minutes and .7 seconds, a new campus record.

Cornerback Sebastian Kamiya had 11 tackles and two interceptions, while middle linebacker Rhys Miyazawa recorded 16 tackles and a pick. Steele Craftman led a strong pass rush with three sacks, while Kieran Hyakuya added two.

Spirit Senior Day is next week, with Spirit Gridiron hosting the 4-7 Fresno State Bulldogs in what will be a last game for a number of fifth-year players on the squad.

 

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Basara Toujou, the father of Sonny Toujou.​

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Two Sandgropers sniffing out Spirit Senior Day 2076

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 23, 2076

A couple of new commits from Western Australia will be making their official visit this week in Canberra as Spirit Senior Day 2076 salutes the athletes of the Leafa College Class of 2076. One of those commits is Samson Yasuhiro "Sonny" Toujou, a 6'1", 205-lbs outside linebacker from Albany. The secret to his strength and physique lies in the fact that he was breastfed by his mother, Mio Naruse, as a baby until turning age two. The assertiveness of his mother and the confidence and resilience of his father made Sonny the man he is today. His twin sister, Delilah, also known as Della, is a volleyball player and will be playing next spring for the Spirit as an outside hitter.

Mio Naruse, the mother of Sonny Toujou. ​

"When it was revealed to me that I was breastfed at a young age by my mom, who is still voluptuous to this day, I thought, well, that explains why I got really big and strong and can hit a lot of people hard," said Toujou via phone interview. "Della and I moved in to Canberra last week and we're going to spend the next few years off campus. We like it here, the atmosphere's great and we're going to have a lot of fun playing defence."

Kirin Toudou and Julis-Alexia van Riessfield, the parents of Jules and Karen Amagiri. Kirin's underwear shown here is now used by Karen as a good luck garment.
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Defencive tackle Ayumu Julius Alexander "Jules" Amagiri is a 6'4", 294 lb beast out of Bremer Bay, WA. Able to move mountains, make waves and surf waves in his spare time, Jules has a twin sister named Katherine Kimberly Kristina Karina Kumiko Karen Amagiri, also known as either Karen Asagiri or Kumiko Amagiri for short. She also plays volleyball and is a libero as well as one of the top servers in the state When the full name was revealed back at Perth Modern School in Subiaco, it amazed their peers and gave birth to the 6KA moniker, which, strangely enough, was inspired by a visit to Karratha by their parents.

Ayato Amagiri, the father of Jules Amagiri.​

"Mama Julis[-Alexia van Riessfeld] (of whom I was named after), Mama Kirin [Toudou] and Dad were visiting Karratha when I was still in my mother's womb," said Jules via phone interview. "So Mama Kirin, who is the mother of my sister, was chatting with a local. He said, 'What's your name, m'lady?' She said, 'Kirin. Kirin Toudou.' He said, 'Beautiful.' Then he pointed to a 6KA billboard and said, 'You be inspired,' and then he walked off. So Mama Kirin was inspired and decided to use six given names and the family name. Originally we didn't want anyone to know that long name but once it came out, everyone was chanting '6-K-A! 6-K-A! 6-K-A!' and the name stuck.

Julis-Alexia van Riessfeld, the mother of Jules Amagiri.​

"As for me, I was named after my mother, Julis-Alexia. It's a male version of my mom's name, although my Japanese name, Ayumu, is a nod to my dad's name Ayato. I grew up really big, really strong, and so did my sister. We've moved in together in our new dorm in Canberra. All the underwear that Mama Kirin used to wear when she was younger has been passed to Karen, who actually looks like Mama Kirin in terms of appearance. It's is said that the striped underwear gives her the power to dictate games. Either she can service ace the game to death, but she generally allows her teammates to pitch in before jumping back in.

Kirin Toudou, the mother of Karen Amagiri. ​

"Actually, Karen dotes on me a lot and depends on me a lot so much that she has romantic feelings for me. I reciprocate such desires because my parents told me that I don't have to be stigmatized by what anyone says. Do what you want, because it's your life, enjoy it. Our mothers knew that power of love, good sex and security go a long way. However, Karen told me that we don't have to consider going all the way until we graduate. I can wait, but she told me that I could pleasure her as much as I want because she plans to do the same.

"So now that I have a partner that is my sister that looks like a younger version of my mother, we can motivate each other to be successful on and off the field of playing. I am ready to watch a good Spirit Senior Day against Fresno State. I don't think I will be disappointed, and neither will Karen."

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Rory Mercury, the mother of Blaine Itami. ​

"I didn't want to be a soldier. I wanted to be me": Blaine Itami

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 26, 2076

The son of a former Japan Self-Defence Forces officer and a goddess, Blaime Shouji Itami was born in Gosford, NSW 18 years ago but ended up living with just her father Youji and godmother Tuka Luna Marceau starting at the age of 10 after his mother, Rory Mercury, ascended to the heavens. Standing at a stout 6'6" 280 lbs, Itami's ability as an offensive tackle will make him a staple on the offensive line starting next season.

"I didn't want to be a soldier. I wanted to be me," said Blaine via telephone at his home in Gosford. "My mom told me, 'be who you want, because you are just a mere mortal that will be a hero in this timeline or the next.' Something like that. So I chose to lift weights, push tractors, push back all types of resistance, and I ended up getting so big that being a soldier was out of the question.

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"My role as a tackle is to prevent the pass rush and also provide run support. It's a straightforward position that requires careful attention and discipline. My father likes to come down to the stadium to watch Mariners games but the area also likes its rugby league and gridiron. I joined the Sharks when I was 11 and I never looked back since. I could have signed with USyd but when Coach Harding contacted me, I was on board.

"When I visited the campus last week, it was beautiful. Real pristine, real heavenly, the type of place my mom would be proud of. They love their academics and they love their sports. I watched the game against San Diego State in the rain but it was lovely. I liked the atmosphere the fans provide. It's real nice.

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"In a dream I had, I met my mom for the first time in nearly a decade and told her the good news. We had a great convo and she reminded me, 'It's all up to you now. Go on and be the hero that you are. Make everyone proud and never regret being awesome!' That's what she told me. I have a photo of her in my wallet. It's my good luck charm and I kiss it before I head off to do whatever I need to do. I dedicate my life to my dad and especially my mom because I bet my life on it."

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Ready, Aye, Ready: Leafa College throttle Fresno State

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 29, 2076

Quarterback Shae Katou-Aki passed for 275 yards, ran for 378 yards and scored 11 total touchdowns on offence as Dan Harding's Leafa Spirit Gridiron throttled the Fresno State Bulldogs on Spirit Senior Day 2076, 139-34, at Subaru Pleiades Stadium in Canberra, ACT. Left end Steele Craftman had 6 tackles to go with three sacks to pace the defence.

Halfback Jack Fukushina ran for 337 yars and five majors, halfback Dana Rinaldi ran for 63 yards and a score, wide receiver Jiji Petricca caught four passes for 56 yards and a touchdown and wideout Jarryd Kaizuka led the receivers with 23 pancake blocks.

On defence, middle linebacker Rhys Miyazawa had 16 tackles and a sack, while safety Hugh Otosaka had nine tackles and an interception. Defensive lineman Kieran Hyakuya also was in on the pass rushing feast, recording two sacks to go with his five tackles.

Leafa improve to 12-0 and will host the Boise State Broncos in the 2076 Mountain West Conference Championship Game at Subaru Pleiades Stadium. Kickoff is scheduled for 19:30 AEDT on Saturday, December 12, 2076.

 

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The Mystique of Australian Comedy

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
November 30, 2076

Australian comedy (or Australian humour) refers to the comedy and humour performed in or about Australia or by the people of Australia. Australian humour can be traced to various origins, and today is manifested in a diversity of cultural practices and pursuits. Writers like Henry Lawson and Banjo Paterson helped to establish a tradition of laconic, ironic and irreverent wit in Australian literature and Australian cultural stereotypes have proved rich sources of comedy for artists from poet C. J. Dennis to satirist Barry Humphries and iconic film maker Paul Hogan, each of whom have given wide circulation to Australian slang.

Vaudeville larikinisim in the style of Graham Kennedy and parochial satire and self-mockery has been a popular strain in Australian comedy, notably in the work of such as Norman Gunston (Garry McDonald), The D-Generation, Roy & HG and Kath & Kim. Acclaimed Australian comic character actors have included John Meillon, Leo McKern, Ruth Cracknell, Geoffrey Rush and Toni Collette. Cynical political satire like that of The Chaser and social and cultural commentary provided by broadcasters like Clive James and Andrew Denton has been another hallmark. Multiculturalism has also contributed to a diversity in Australian comedy, from the work of migrant comedians like Mary Coustas and Anh Do to Aboriginal performers like Ernie Dingo. Australian stand up comedy has a wide following and the Melbourne Comedy Festival is a major international comedy event.

The "Australian sense of humour" is often characterised as dry, irreverent and ironic, exemplified by some of the works of performing artists like Barry Humphries and Paul Hogan and by character creations such as mock-talk-show hosts Norman Gunston (Garry McDonald) and Roy and HG (John Doyle and Greig Pickhaver). Australian humour was influenced by the convict origins of European Australian history. It is today expressed in Australian slang as well as throughout Australian film, literature, and other media. While outback and "bronzed Aussie" stereotypes are a rich source of Australian comedy, so are the urban rituals and exuberant cosmopolitanism of much of contemporary Australia, as expressed by auteurs like Baz Luhrmann in the 1993 film Strictly Ballroom. The quirks of Australian multiculturalism have also provided fodder for comedy: from They're a Weird Mob (1957) about an Italian immigrant adapting to Sydney life; to the works of Vietnamese refugee Anh Do and Egyptian born Akmal Saleh; the Guido Hatzis parody and Nick Giannopoulos' Wog Boy 2: Kings of Mykonos (2010) about second-generation Australian Greeks returning to their ancestral home. Actor Ernie Dingo is perhaps the best known Aboriginal Australian comedic performing artist. In recent years, comedy duo Hamish & Andy have dominated radio ratings with cross-medium programming showcasing larrikin ideals and spirited curiosity.

The annual Melbourne International Comedy Festival (MICF) is one of the largest comedy festivals in the world, and a popular fixture on the city's cultural calendar. More recently The Sydney Comedy Festival and Brisbane Comedy Festival were launched.

Raw Comedy Award, supported primarily by the MICF and Triple J, is Australia's longest running and well-known national competition for emerging comedians. Heats are held annually around the country and the grand final is held in Melbourne during the festival and recorded for broadcast nationally on Australian Broadcasting Corporation television later in the year.

World's Funniest Island began as an Australian comedy event held on the third weekend in October on Cockatoo Island, on Sydney Harbour in 2009. The Bald Archy art prize (a parody of the Archibald Prize) includes cartoons or humorous works making fun of celebrities and current affairs and is allegedly "judged by a cockatoo".

The annual TV Week Logie Awards recognise television comedy in the category of "Most Popular Light Entertainment/Comedy" and the Australian Film Institute offers the annual Australian Film Institute Award for Best Television Comedy Series.

 

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The Mystique of the Jackaroo

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
December 6, 2076

A jackaroo is a young man (feminine equivalent jillaroo) working on a sheep or cattle station, to gain practical experience in the skills needed to become an owner, overseer, manager, etc. The word originated in Queensland, Australia in the 19th century and is still in use in Australia and New Zealand in the 21st century. Its origins are unclear, although it is firmly rooted in Australian English, Australian culture and in the traditions of the Australian stockmen.

The word jackaroo, also formerly spelled jackeroo, has been used in Australia since at least the middle of the 19th century and passed from there into common usage in New Zealand. Its use in both countries continues into the 21st century. The origin of the word is obscure and probably unknowable, but its first documented use was in Queensland. Several possibilities have been put forward:

• An origin from an indigenous language term for 'a wandering white man'.
• Another suggestion (1895) was for an origin from the aboriginal word for a 'pied crow shrike', a garrulous bird, which the strange-sounding language of the white settlers reminded them of. Meston explained his position in a newspaper in 1919.
• In this era the American cowboys were also called 'buckaroos', which was derived from the Spanish word 'vaquero'
• By 1906 Immigrants into Australia were often called Johnny Raws. From that it became Jacky Raw.
• By 1925 it was said that the term jackeroo originated from the fact that "one of the earliest [...] was named 'Jack Carew'."
• A 'Jack of all Trades in Australia' (Jack + kangaroo), has much popular support. The Brisbane Courier newspaper, of Queensland, on 5 July, 1929, page 16, stated in answer to a question from a reader 'POMMY' of Toowong:

A jackaroo (sometimes spelt jackeroo) Is a young man learning experience on a pastoral property. (2) In the English language 'Jack' is compounded with a lot of words, and in the early pastoral days it was compounded with the "roo" in Kangaroo to indicate, perhaps, the aimless rushing about of the inexperienced station cadet.

The Encyclopaedia of Australia stated in 1968 that it is "most probably a coined Australian-sounding word based on a [person] 'Jacky Raw'" Jackaroos (Jacky + Raw) were often young men from Britain or from city backgrounds in Australia, which would explain the pejorative use of 'raw' in the sense of 'inexperienced'.
Arguably the most authoritative voice in 2010 was that of The Australian National Dictionary Centre of the Research School of the Humanities at the Australian National University, which provides Oxford University Press with editorial expertise for their Australian dictionaries. They have explained their reasons for making no final judgment, and raise another possibility, that 'jackeroo' is derived from an aboriginal word for 'stranger' rather than for a 'pied crow shrike'.
The spellings 'jackaroo' and 'jackeroo' were both used from about 1850 to at least 1981. In 2010, the more commonly used spelling was 'jackaroo'. However, between the years 1970 and 1981, a sample of Australian newspapers referred to 'jackeroo' 18 times and 'jackaroo' 29 times.

Dubbo and Kimberley Technical and further education (TAFE) centres provide a certificate course of practical experiences for people who want to work as jackaroos or jillaroos on rural properties. The course covers practical aspects of farm work at an introductory level. The jackaroo and jillaroo tradition was still active in 2076, with some training provided on dude ranches, where some students go on to paid positions on "stations".

 

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Leafa College smash Boise State to win Mountain West crown

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
December 13, 2076

Quarterback Shae Katou-Aki passed for 354 yards, ran for 410 yards and scored 14 total touchdowns on offence to lead Dan Harding's Leafa Spirit Gridiron to a 119-30 rout of the Boise State Broncos in the 2076 Mountain West Football Championship Game at Subaru Pleiades Stadium in Canberra, ACT. Middle linebacker Rhys Miyazawa had 18 tackles, a sack and two recovered fumbles to lead the defence.

Halfback Jack Fukushina ran for 270 yards and a score, wide receiver Jiji Petricca caught five passes for 114 yards and three touchdowns, wideout Ledley Aki caught five passes for 84 yards and a major and Petricca led the blockers with 23 pancakes. Tight end Max Haimura added nine pancake blocks.

On defence, left end Steele Craftman had 11 tackles and three sacks. Right end Ben Ayugase had six tackles and two sacks, while safety Geronimo "Hiki" Hikigaya and cornerback Sebastian Kamiya each had an interception. Safety Hugh Otosaka also returned a punt 76 yards for a touchdown. After the match, Katou-Aki was asked if he had done enough to win the Heisman after being passed over this year.

"I think I finally did it," said Katou-Aki. "I am excited to know that I did enough to win the voters over and that I won't have to worry about the voters deliberately picking the second-best player in college football for two years straight. I feel like a kid at Christmas. It's awesome to be a Leafa Boy."

Leafa await their opponent in the 2077 BCS Championship Game at Dolphins Stadium in Miami Beach, Fla. There is a chance that the opponent will be the LSU Tigers, the only other unbeaten team in college football. The 2077 Heisman Trophy Ceremony is scheduled for December 19, 2076 (December 18 in USA) and will be televised by ESPN in the USA and One in Australia.

 

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"He did WHAT!!?"
Akane Sakurada, mother of Jack Fukushina, upset at the decision of her son to reject the Heisman Memorial Trophy despite finishing first in the voting.​

Jack Fukushina rejects Heisman Trophy, award to be declared vacant

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
December 19, 2076

The 2076 Heisman Trophy was all but prepared to go to Shae Katou-Aki, the second-year quarterback of Dan Harding's Leafa Spirit Gridiron Team. However, a leaked report by Tear Lightning of 5AO confirmed that the trophy was scheduled to go instead to first-year halfback Jack Fukushina, the Doak Walker winner as college football's top running back.

Because of this, all bookmakers suspended betting on the Heisman Trophy and refunded all bets to all punters at no cost. The original delegation of Harding, Katou-Aki, fifth-year cornerback Sebastian Kamiya and Fukushina was reduced to just Fukushina and his wife, first-year linguistics major Akira Misaki, his wife and personal liaison, representing Leafa College at the Heisman ceremony.

Akira Misaki, Jack Fukushina's wife.​

"The Heisman Trophy is supposed to be awarded to college football's best player, not second-best," said Fukushina at the ceremony, drawing gasps of surprise from the American contingent. "This is the second straight year that you unqualified voters in the media overlooked Shae's contributions to the sport and are now messing around with him.

"This is something I cannot accept. I am not accepting this award and hereby request that this award is either given to Shae or that the award is declared vacant." Afterwards, Fukushina and Misaki left the podium to take the next taxi to New York's LaGuardia Airport, where a long flight back to Sydney awaited, with a stopover in Los Angeles.

Claudia Enfield, 5AO sports talk show host.​

"We never had the trophy vacated in seven decades, and this is absolutely shocking news, history-making," said 5AO talk show host Claudia Enfield, host of the late-afternoon programme "Enfield Hour." "I don't blame Flash for his decision to reject the trophy, though. The voters didn't vote for the right player, I reckon. I feel they have an agenda toward Seamus and that needs to be dropped.

"Seamus is a hero here in this city, and the work he's done to make this second remarkably great should be commended. Had he been award the trophy last year, this wouldn't be a talking issue. But to be strangely second to a player with far inferior stats is a sign that the integrity of the American media has been smashed to pieces. You can't script this. America is messing with us Aussies and we've had enough to it, to be fair."

"Shae is crushed by this news," said Harding via telephone interview to the Melbourne Herald Sun and The Age. "He simply can't believe that his numbers have been ignored by the press in America. We're expected to have Brett back with us for the BCS game in January in Miami and I am thinking about letting Shae and Jack travel with us but not suit up. They just told me that they are doing this as a statement to the ill-advised, uninformed morons that do the voting.

"it isn't often I say this, but winning Maxwell and Walter Camp is more valuable that the Heisman. The stature of the trophy and the credibility has been shot because of the media, and that's not good for the sport globally.

"Wake up America. This is two straight years you have sent the sport into disrepute by having an partisan agenda against the best player on my team. Messing with Leafa College is a death wish, and you'll reap what you sow."

However, there was one person that did not approve of the decision.

"He did WHAT!!?" exclaimed Akane Sakurada, Fukushina's mother. "I don't believe it. Who cares about Shae! His job really is to be a game manager, not really be the hero every time! I wanted to see the trophy! It could have been one of family treasures! Unbelievable! America, this is your fault for letting history repeat itself! You just Yanks can't do anything right, and that's why you deserve to get smashed by our boys from Leafa Town. This is all your fault, you bloody flogs!"

 

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Debut album for Launceston Boys released!

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
December 21, 2076

The debut album from Launceston Boys, a rock group composed of a number of players on the Leafa Spirit Gridiron Team born and raised in Launceston, Tasmania, released their new album, entitled "Streets." The compilation includes a few covers but comprises mainly original content composed since their secondary school days. The album is released by university-owned Leafa Town Records and is available for digital download at $9.99 AUD.

"We're really excited at this new album that's coming out," said Brock Ebina-Doma, lead guitarist and keyboardist for the band, as well as the team's punter. "We worked really hard to get this project going and everyone's gonna love listening to our pieces."

"Finally, we can say that we recorded an LP for all of Australia to check out," said Kent Age Reynolds, the leader of the group, main vocalist and bassist. "We wanted to pay homage to our home town and remember everyone from our younger days, the parents we learned from, and the lessons we keep. We were all raised in the streets of Launceston."

A special Christmas concert promoting the album will take place on Christmas at Tsuboi Centre, with five lucky guests each receiving a special all expenses paid VIP package to the 2077 BCS Championship Game in Miami Beach, Florida, USA. Package includes game admission, hotel accomodation and all-access to all events:MetroTech Playlist Live!, BCS Fan Central, Taste of the Championship, Championship Tailgate and Extra Yark 5K Run/Walk.
Ticket Required: Regular: $60.00, $50.00, $40.00;
Students: $40.00, $35.00, $30.00; Pensioners (65+): $30.00,
$25.00, $20.00.
Tickets can be purchased directly through the Leafa Box Office by phone at 061 2 51LEAFA (061 2 51125161) or online at the box office website.

Track List:

1. Streets
2. The Modern Life
3. Accusations
4. Ask
5. Hold Back The River
6. Gold
7. When It Was Now
8. The Yoke
9. Boag Run
10. Stand On Your Head
11. Renegades
12. Well
13. Glass of Champagne
14. True Form
Bonus Track: The Wheel

 

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Stella Vermillion, the mother of Sam "Ace" Kurogane. ​

Not Just Another Ace: Sam Kurogane To Show Up Doubters Next Season

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
December 28, 2076

Samuel Miki Kurogane is the son of Ikki Kurogane and Stella Vermillion. Nicknamed "Ace" by his mother, Kurogane is an athlete that can play halfback, fullback and wide receiver and may be a possible threat to Shae Katou-Aki's plans to win the Heisman in 2077. Katou-Aki, the second-year quarterback, will be sitting out the BCS Championship Game due to finishing second in the voting to first-year halfback Jack Fukushina, who will also be sitting out in favor of Brett Inohara, returning from injury.

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"I wanted people to know that I can be a difference-maker, I can get off the ground running and that's why I decided to join the Leafa Boys in '77," said Kurogane via phone interview earlier this morning from his home in Thomastown, Victoria, his mother cooking some steak, omelettes and pancakes, his favorite breakfast dish. "Mom and Dad are graduates of the big school in Canada and so they told me, 'Come on Acey, let's make you a hero out here in Australia.'

"I didn't want to do AFL or NRL because I just don't have the size for league or the speed for footy. But I have the IQ needed to be productive on the gridiron. Fittingly, I joined the Monash Warriors when I was eight and became their all-time leading rusher at the junior level. Those numbers got the Leafa scouts looking over here and I ended up getting an invite to visit the campus.

Stella Vermillion and Ikki Kurogane, the parents of Ace Kurogane. ​

"I was sold. You just can't dislike Leafa College. They have great people; great athletics teams; a chivalrous, sporting spirit; a nice newspaper and radio network; the Pleiades Stadium is sold out every match; the marching band's suits and hats is iconic...I just couldn't pass this one up. In fact, Mom and Dad were with me and they, too, wanted me to join.

"So I'm quite thrilled that now I get a chance to prove myself in front of big crowds in Canberra and across the Pacific. I dreamed of lifting that college football championship trophy and continuing this dynasty of success that has been the hallmark of this team for quite a while.

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"It won't be long before I find a partner of my own at Leafa Town, too. I'll give you trust, good sex and security, just like how my parents do it, because they know what it takes to raise the future heading into it. All you have to do is ask, just like that Launceston Boys song. I'm ready to heave away for Leafa. Let's do this."

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"I'm happy for Acey," said Vermillion via phone interview. "My son has worked real hard to play the game of gridiron the way he wants to. He's easy to coach, easy to adapt, and can be used in a variety of situations. As long as he doesn't get injured, my son can win you championships. That's why when it comes to sports like gridiron, he's an Ace and he can do what he wants."

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Leafa College Win Fifth BCS Championship!

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
January 10, 2077

With second-year quarterback Shae Katou-Aki and first-year halfback Jack Fukushina electing to sit out the 2077 BCS Championship Game at Dolphin Stadium in Miami Beach, Fla. due to confirmed Heisman voting bias, it was up to other faces to pick up the pieces.

Fellow second-year and backup QB Kaz Kasumigaoka passed for 275 yards, ran for 382 yards and scored five touchdowns on offence to give Dan Harding's Leafa Spirit Gridiron a 79-27 victory over the LSU Tigers. Strong safety Ray Mononobe had a strong performance on defence with 11 tackles and an interception.

"What a great performance, by Kaz and by Ray and everyone," said Coach Harding after the contest. "We wanted to show America that we are more that just the big names that battled for the now vacant and tarnished Heisman. We did it. So we're gonna head back home and celebrate with everyone. What a wonderful performance. I'm proud of all of them."

Halfback Brett Inohara, after a long layoff due to injury, ran for 162 yards and a touchdown while catching nine passes for 51 yards. Del Chevelle Maiman also got some playing time, rushing for 152 yards and three majors while catching seven passes for 45 yards and a major. Ledley Aki led the blockers with 20 pancakes while Jarryd Kaizuka added 17 pancakes. Vern Dahlgren led the defence in tackling with 14 tackles.

Leafa finish the season 14-0 and will be hosting a special rally on Australia Day 2077 at Parliament House in Canberra to celebrate their fifth straight BCS Championship. The event is free to the public.

 

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2076 STATS

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Records Continue To Tumble For Leafa Spirit Gridiron

By Carol Craftman
The Spirit News
January 13, 2077

A number of records have fallen following Leafa College's 2076 BCS Championship campaign, culminating with a 79-27 victory over the LSU Tigers at Dolphin Stadium in Miami Beach, Florida, USA. The championship is Dan Harding's fifth as head coach of the programme. Leafa finish the season 14-0 and will be hosting a special rally on Australia Day 2077 at Parliament House in Canberra to celebrate their fifth straight BCS Championship. The event is free to the public.

Dan Harding
Coaching Career - Longest Win Streak 70

Sebastian Kamiya
Individual Season - Interceptions 25
School Season - Interceptions (Season) 25

Jiji Petricca
School Season - Receiving TD (Season) 15

Shae Katou-Aki
School Career - Passing TD (Career) 89

 

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The New First-Year Clique: Hanayamata Team READY!

By Reiko Arisugawa-Bell
The Spirit News
January 20, 2077

Wide receiver Michael Farriss, strong safety David Satoshi Tsukamoto, halfback Ace Kurogane, wideout Morgan Kusanagi and wideout Anthony Kagurazaka form the Hanayamata Team. They are the husbands of Hana Farriss (former Hana N Fountainstand), Naru Tsukamoto (former Naru Sekiya), Yaya Kurogane (former Yaya Sasame), Mazie Kusanagi (former Machi Tokiwa) and Tammy N. Kagurazaka (former Tami Nishimikado), respectively, all who are experts in yosakoi dancing but who are now majoring in liberal studies as first-year students at Leafa College.

The five recruits, all of whom are now transitioning into life at the school with their married partners, often banter as to who has the better missus among them, often with hilarious results. As a rule, it's generally Michael's wife that takes the piss because she's a confirmed polyglot, speaking English, Japanese, Korean, Chinese and French.

Hana Farriss, the wife of Michael Farriss.​

"I don't know why but Hanabelle [Michael's personal name for Hana] is picked on every time, and strangely she doesn't mind it one bit," said Farriss. "She's proud to know that she's married into some really good musical talent on my side so it goes well with her night dancing. I'm married to a fairy, so I guess I get the best luck of the team and I'll take it."

Shuuichi Tsukamoto and Kumiko Oumae, the parents of Dave Tsukamoto.​

Tsukamoto's father is Shuuichi Tsukamoto, co-Director of Bands at Leafa College with his mother, Kumiko Oumae. They gave the green light to have Naru marry Dave on the first day they met. Even though Dave himself is a skilled trumpeter and plays the hook from Capital Cities' "Safe and Sound" in his sleep, he turned aside a musical career for that of a gridiron king.

Naru Tsukamoto, the wife of Dave Tsukamoto.​

"Mom and Dad, they didn't need to hear my wife out, they just said, 'Do what you want and never regret anything,'" Dave said via phone. "And Dad said, 'Naru, take care of my son. He'll make you feel like a queen, but you need to do your part to make your lives happy and enriching. Me and Kumiko, we learned that the hard way, but we made it work and you can do the same. It's all up to you now.' That's what Dad said.

"Naru and I, we take the initiative to turn dreams into reality. We don't even think about it because when we're in bed together, we can see what we have to do before we even actually do it. We have a long road ahead of us so I hope my wife and all of my mates do their part to make Leafa proud. This year, we go all in."

Mazie Kusanagi, the wife of Morgan Kusanagi.​

Kusanagi is the grandson of Izumo Kusanagi and is a computer science major, like Mazie, who is taking up the unique challenge of double-majoring at Leafa. Kusanagi prefers to run block but is unafraid to take a stand and make catches here and there.

"Just give me an assignment, a play, a system and I'll do my best to run it correctly," said Kusanagi. "At my old team, the coach allowed me to take responsibility in taking what the defense gave me. I got good legs, good speed and vision and I think I can be of use to the team."

No one needs to question the virility and carnal desires of Ace, who has it in his genes from his parents, bona fide perverted sexaholics in their own right. So when he married the former Yaya Sasame, he saw a bit of his mother when they both started living together as a habit.

Yaya Kurogane, the wife of Ace Kurogane.​

"I swear to God, it's true: my wife looks like my mum," said Kurogane via phone interview from his coed dorm bedroom off campus, where Yaya was pleasuring his family jewels incessantly. "Yaya's behind me every step of the way and was excited to be with me at Leafa. She's good friends with my mum and she believes my mum's gonna be a great granny. I thought, why not? Maybe if it's a daughter, she'll grow up to be as lewd and naughty as all of us; it wouldn't hurt!"

Tammy Kagurazaka, the wife of Anthony Kagurazaka.​

After trying a bottle of Mick's Malta for the first time, Tammy decided to marry Anthony last year and drop her maiden name. A business administration major, Tammy is committed to helping her husband continue operations of the multibillion dollar Malthouse Brewery that made wheat soda and kvass the drinks of health-conscious sports fans across Australia and New Zealand.

"She's all in it to make Malthouse a winner across the land," said Kagurazaka. "She loves the taste of it and can't get enough of it, to the fact that there are some addicting chemicals in it. She's an advocate of moderation and is against these beverages being consumed to excess, like how the Neds of Scotland go un-Flanders on Buckfast [Tonic Wine]. We are developing a rechargeable five-year plan for Malthouse but we'll develop it over time with my dad's assistance over at Leafa."

 

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Spirit Gridiron Coaching Staff (2077)
Head Coach: Dan Harding
Offensive Coord.: Ethan Wakamatsu
Quarterbacks: Lachlan Akai
Running Backs: Andrew Mitsuka
Receivers: Max Haimura
Offensive Line: Robert Irons
Defensive Coordinator: Darren Jetta
Defensive Line: Gil Tavares
Linebackers: Derek Williams
Secondary: Gene Mitaka
Special Teams: Yu Shun-Lee
Graduate Assistant: Wes Narukami
Team Doctor: Rhian H. Tsukahara, MD
Recruiting Coordinator: Yusa Nishimori
Athletic Director: Haru Onodera

Chancellor: Hozuki Ferrari
Vice-Chancellor: Aoi Miyamori
Provosts: Erika Chiba (Mitakihara),
Nao Tomori (Leafa College),
Eru Miru (Japan Campus),
Yui Kanakura
(Mitakihara-Squamish)
Visitor: Sir Duke Royce-Rioli, Administrator,
Australian Capital Territory

 

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