2019 MINSHEW

[Wuf]

Denver spurts talk saying they should convert Paxton to receiver lol. All of these mongoloids need to kill themselves.

 

[Travis7401]

@Reel Fort Collins certainly has a bum-fuck farmtown vibe because it is home for Colorado's ag school... but I think it is more than counterbalanced by the craft beer/organic food snob vibe these days. If anything I wish it had more of the farmtown/redneck vibe of the good ol' days. When I was a kid there was a shooting range at the dump and there were goose/duck blinds in every open field in town. I used to goose hunt with my dad in a field that is a Wal-Mark now... it was directly adjacent to a golf course, so it was REALLY good hunting, because geese love golf courses, lol. There are still a few properties where people hunt geese, but mostly it is frowned upon to blast geese with a shotgun inside city limits... and you should have seen the looks I got when I was walking home through my neighborhood with the rabbit NORMA killed the other day.

 

[Travis7401]

Denver spurts talk saying they should convert Paxton to receiver lol. All of these mongoloids need to kill themselves.

They should convert Paxton to free agent.

 

[Wuf]

It was definitely a cow town when my dad was at CSU in the 70's. Willie, Waylon, and him!

 

[Yankee151]

@Reel Fort Collins certainly has a bum-fuck farmtown vibe because it is home for Colorado's ag school... but I think it is more than counterbalanced by the craft beer/organic food snob vibe these days. If anything I wish it had more of the farmtown/redneck vibe of the good ol' days. When I was a kid there was a shooting range at the dump and there were goose/duck blinds in every open field in town. I used to goose hunt with my dad in a field that is a Wal-Mark now... it was directly adjacent to a golf course, so it was REALLY good hunting, because geese love golf courses, lol. There are still a few properties where people hunt geese, but mostly it is frowned upon to blast geese with a shotgun inside city limits... and you should have seen the looks I got when I was walking home through my neighborhood with the rabbit NORMA killed the other day.

You holding a dead animal will definitely stun me long enough for NORMA to get the jump on me

 

[Irishman]

Denver spurts talk saying they should convert Paxton to receiver lol. All of these mongoloids need to kill themselves.

Hisselfs.

 

[Reel]

@Reel Fort Collins certainly has a bum-fuck farmtown vibe because it is home for Colorado's ag school... but I think it is more than counterbalanced by the craft beer/organic food snob vibe these days. If anything I wish it had more of the farmtown/redneck vibe of the good ol' days. When I was a kid there was a shooting range at the dump and there were goose/duck blinds in every open field in town. I used to goose hunt with my dad in a field that is a Wal-Mark now... it was directly adjacent to a golf course, so it was REALLY good hunting, because geese love golf courses, lol. There are still a few properties where people hunt geese, but mostly it is frowned upon to blast geese with a shotgun inside city limits... and you should have seen the looks I got when I was walking home through my neighborhood with the rabbit NORMA killed the other day.

-10 for explaining the joke

 

[ZackMills]

moving forward, im gonna need you to refrain from commenting until Travis does

dont ruin this for me woff

@Reel Fort Collins certainly has a bum-fuck farmtown vibe because it is home for Colorado's ag school... but I think it is more than counterbalanced by the craft beer/organic food snob vibe these days. If anything I wish it had more of the farmtown/redneck vibe of the good ol' days. When I was a kid there was a shooting range at the dump and there were goose/duck blinds in every open field in town. I used to goose hunt with my dad in a field that is a Wal-Mark now... it was directly adjacent to a golf course, so it was REALLY good hunting, because geese love golf courses, lol. There are still a few properties where people hunt geese, but mostly it is frowned upon to blast geese with a shotgun inside city limits... and you should have seen the looks I got when I was walking home through my neighborhood with the rabbit NORMA killed the other day.

View attachment 6377

-10 for explaining the joke

 

[Reel]

aight man, im only saying this b/c i love you

but after the first 20x you did this, its corny now. I aint laugh since the second time you did it

come up with a new troll

 

[ZackMills]

That wasn't even what I've been doing...

 

[Reel]

That wasn't even what I've been doing...

oh

 

[evil1]

In before the ZackMills follow-up post.

 

[Wuf]

They should convert Paxton to free agent.

Horseface has his head buried too far into the trough to admit he done fucked up

 

[DeadMan]

Paxton Lynch is tall, white, reasonably athletic, and played basketball in high school. He clearly should be a tight end.

 

[Yankee151]

You have to have played it in college so announcers will mention it every time you show up on screen

 

[NML]

aight man, im only saying this b/c i love you

but after the first 20x you did this, its corny now. I aint laugh since the second time you did it

come up with a new troll

I’ve laughed every time

 

[Travis7401]

Hate it had to be you, @Reel, but this is the best schtick in years.

 

[bruin]

I'm bumming Ramsey didn't give his opinion on Alex Smith.

 

[kella]

He did it's the same as Big Ben's.

 

[Reel]

Hate it had to be you, @Reel, but this is the best schtick in years.

we have different standards of what qualifies as best then

Avocado Bruin has easily one of the best ones in years

but, to your point, you are entitled to your opinion

 

[bruin]

Avocado Bruin has easily one of the best ones in years

 

[ZackMills]

TBH, I am surprised he hasn't fought fire with fire. Have a conversation with me using my old posts!

 

[Reel]

TBH, I am surprised he hasn't fought fire with fire. Have a conversation with me using my old posts!

that would just be me having a conversation using my posts

 

[ZackMills]

that would just be me having a conversation using my posts

No, I reply using only your old posts and you reply using only my old posts.

 

[Reel]

No, I reply using only your old posts and you reply using only my old posts.

your old posts have become my old posts which is why i said it would be just me having a convo with myself

besides, i dont care to go back to things you've said in the past to try and out troll you

I dont remember most of your posts anyway

 

[bruin228]

we have different standards of what qualifies as best then

Avocado Bruin has easily one of the best ones in years

but, to your point, you are entitled to your opinion

 

[ZackMills]

your old posts have become my old posts which is why i said it would be just me having a convo with myself

besides, i dont care to go back to things you've said in the past to try and out troll you

I dont remember most of your posts anyway

There are only about 8600+ posts of mine to choose from before the last several days...

People are aware there is a working search function on this board, right? I've just zeroed in on some keywords of yours that usually lead to solid replies.

 

[Reel]

Cardinals why your team sucks

Your quarterback: Sam Bradford, who played the game of his life against New Orleans in Week 1 of last season, walked off the field without a limp, and then was NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN. It was the most Sam Bradford thing that has ever happened: one week of brilliant potential followed by sixteen weeks of private, intensive chemo treatments. This man’s knee is a wormhole. For all that, Arizona paid $15 million guaranteed. Unreal. Sam Bradford will end his career having made over $150 million, and he’ll have done it despite having a skeleton made entirely of ball bearings. Honestly, I’m proud of him. This is what all football players SHOULD earn. Make this man head of the NFLPA.

 

[kella]

Might be the best one yet this year.

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-...ook&utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_facebook

I thought I had reached the apex of my Ray Lewis hatred years ago, but no. No, my hate for Ray Lewis only continues to expand with time, not unlike the waistline of a Ryan brother. The hatred I bear has a full-on pituitary disorder because this twirling dipshit will eat entire planets whole before he ever cedes the spotlight. When Colin Kaepernick dropped to one knee, Ray Lewis dropped down on both knees because that’s, like, one more knee. FUCK EVERYTHING WE’RE GOING TO FIVE KNEES. Did Ray backtrack on his kneeling immediately afterward? You know he did.

And that was before his interminable disgrace of a Hall of Fame speech: 34 minutes of incoherent babbling that should have earned Lewis a one-way ticket to the loony bin. Here is a man who believes that doing the Chicken Dance makes him a vessel for God himself. Here is a man who obstructed justice in two murders and began painting himself as the main victim of that crime the second he got out of that limo. Here is a man who thinks school prayer will prevent child sex trafficking. Ray Lewis a constant, criminal embarrassment, and yet you people built a STATUE for this idiot:

View attachment upload_2018-8-16_13-50-0.gif
What a fucking disgrace. Even Jerry Richardson thinks that statue is in bad taste. But if Ray Lewis’ superhuman phoniness and his unrelenting self-aggrandizement bother this organization, they certainly don’t show it. For the Ravens, Ray Lewis is a useful idiot … a handy pawn they can call on any time they need to blame not signing Colin Kaepernick on a mean tweet from his girlfriend.

Ray-Ray and the Ravens are of the same ilk: powerful entities for whom decorum means that no one should ever, no matter how politely they go about it, force self-appointed important people to confront their shortcomings. The entire Ravens organizational philosophy can be summed up by the credo, “No, YOU’RE the asshole.” So fuck Ray Lewis, fuck Harbaugh, fuck Steve Bisciotti and his penny loafers, and fuck Dick Cass for blaming poor attendance on protests and not on the fact that his team starts a piece of dried-out melba toast under center. This team was designed to please suburban racist dads in bad golf shirts, and they’ve got their methods down to a science. These fans booed a prayer. Fuck them with a whole steamed crab.

The whole shitty enterprise is a perfect fit for Baltimore itself, an average city distinguished only by its hilarious defensiveness. All day long, these fans sit around wondering why they’re not being appreciated enough, and most of them don’t even have the stones to live in the city proper. Baltimore is everything unappealing about Philadelphia and D.C., but without any of the good stuff. It is Cleveland on the Chesapeake. Its centerpiece is a crummy waterfront strip mall where everything costs $20 more than it should. Johns Hopkins rivals Georgetown and Notre Dame for the gap between how impressed with itself it is and how unimpressed everyone else is by it. And yet people from Baltimore act as if they’re some kind of national treasure, as if eating crabs and getting huffy about people mentioning The Wire to them constitutes some kind of legendary city culture. It’s all garbage. Also, the Baltimore accent sounds like brain damage.

 

[Yankee151]

The best one is always the Detroit Lions fan responses

 

[Southpaw]

He prolly won't even do the Titans since nobody gives a shit about them.

 

[Brick]

best part of those is the fan letters. ma'gary has dropped off the librul progressive cliff since he's trying to oveecompensate for basically being the OG barstool guy.

 

[adchester]

The best ones are always the truly inept franchises (Browns, Lions, Skeeeens) and the franchises that are good but self-destruct when it matters (Vikings, Falcons)

 

[hayvis]

Might be the best one yet this year.

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-...ook&utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_facebook

So good, and just when you don't think it can get any better, the best bit is the last sentence.

 

[CJ_24]

I think I said it last year, and I'll say it again this year: I do not think the "why your team sucks" articles are funny. They could be, but the author is not funny.

 

[CJ_24]

I will say, however, that this comment from the comment section of the Green Bay "why your team sucks" article is hysterical (and probably accurate):

Tucker:

This team is the reason Eli Manning will be in the Hall of Fame.​

 

[Karl Hungus]

I think I said it last year, and I'll say it again this year: I do not think the "why your team sucks" articles are funny. They could be, but the author is not funny.

No wai

 

[jdlikewhoa]

I think I said it last year, and I'll say it again this year: I do not think the "why your team sucks" articles are funny. They could be, but the author is not funny.

 

[bruin228]

Prepare the Hot Take Cannon!
……(\_/)
……( ‘_’)
…./”"”"”"”"”"”"\=====░ ▒▓▓█D
/”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”\
\_@_@_@_@_@/

 

[Orlando]

Magary is awful.

I think I said it last year, and I'll say it again this year: I do not think the "why your team sucks" articles are funny. They could be, but the author is not funny.

Where are you Pete?

 

[kella]

Terrible takes in the NFL thread is the norm now. It's the new NBA thread.

 

[CJ_24]

No wai

The premise of the "why your team sucks" articles has potential. The author, however, in my view, is not talented. He writes crudely and provocatively in an effort to be funny, but it is not. He writes that way to obfuscate the fact that he's neither clever nor witty. Thus, the articles suck.

 

[kella]

If you're looking for posts that are not clever or funny, look within, new CJ

 

[NML]

The premise of the "why your team sucks" articles has potential. The author, however, in my view, is not talented. He writes crudely and provocatively in an effort to be funny, but it is not. He writes that way to obfuscate the fact that he's neither clever nor witty. Thus, the articles suck.

 

[bruin228]

The fact that he makes a living as a writer, has an entire section dedicated to his work on a website, and has some decently selling books probably indicates he has an audience that at least finds him amusing, but it’s not unsurprising that guy who reads law briefs for fun and jerks off to Surpreme Court Justice fatheads isn’t part of it

 

[Orlando]

The fact that he makes a living as a writer, has an entire section dedicated to his work on a website, and has some decently selling books probably indicates he has an audience that at least finds him amusing, but it’s not unsurprising that guy who reads law briefs for fun and jerks off to Surpreme Court Justice fatheads isn’t part of it

The NFL also has an audience

 

[Wuf]

CJ's beef reads like a formal complaint to HR. Yeah, you're not his audience.

 

[adchester]

BORTLES looking like an all-pro today, one INT and one pass that got dropped by two Vikings in just the first two possessions

 

[NML]

BORTLES has never lost four Super Bowls doe

He also has more playoff wins than Kirk Cousins

 

[bruin]