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[FM20] No Coaching Badges....No Problem


Disney and Curling Expert
None of that Face in the Game shit here....meet my manager. No coaching badges and a Sunday League BALLER.


My man here entered the corching world with no coaching badges and just a Sunday League experience. This German/Dutch @chibob was born in AMSTERDAM.

Loaded Leagues.jpg
My laptop has a lot of power behind it so I can load a lot of leagues. The third tier of Spain and the third and fourth tier of Sweden are not seen in this pic. Some of these lower leagues will get dropped as the save goes on and I need the extra putting power to keep the save going. But for, a lot of nations and leagues so I had a lot of jobs at my disposal. I went on holiday until 1 November. This is usually when teams start sacking their managers. When I came back from holiday, ma'assistant let me know the following jobs were good matches for my shitty managing reputation:

  1. Husqvarna - fourth tier of Sweden
  2. Cadiz B - third tier of Spain
  3. Is Halmia - fourth tier of Sweden
  4. Farsley Celtic - sixth tier of England :england:
I applied to all of the jobs except the Cadiz B job. I also applied for the Slough Town (sixth tier of England) and FC Stockholm Internazional (fourth tier of Sweden). Slough Town immediately offered me a job interview.

A couple of days later, ma'assistant recommended three more jobs:
  1. Lunds BK - third tier of Sweden but getting relegated down the fourth tier
  2. Altrincham - sixth tier of England
  3. Guiseley - sixth tier of England
I applied to all three jobs. On 5 November, Slough Town offered me their managing position. They reeked of desperation to me, to me, so I asked them to delay for a week which they agreed to. On 7 November, Guiseley offered me an interview. Five days later, ma'assistant told me about the IFK Lidingo IK job in the fourth tier of Sweden so I applied there as well. At the same time, Slough Town approached me again about their job but I was able to blow them off for another week.

On the 15th, Guiseley told me they were going in a different direction. My hard working assistant told me about two more sixth tier jobs in England - St. Albans and Dorking Wanderers. I applied to both places. Four days later on the 19th, I told Slough Town to take a hike. I had better prospects than a club in last place in the sixth tier of English football. St. Albans offered me an interview on the 21st. Finally, the Swedish clubs got off their asses and started to offer interviews. Lunds BK was the first club to offer an interview on the 25th. That's when ma'assistant let me know about some Eastern European openings.
  1. NK Medjimuric - second tier of Croatia
  2. NK Durbara - second tier of Croatia
  3. NK Koka Nova Mesto - second tier of Slovakia
  4. KVV Thes Sport - third tier of Belgium
I only applied for the Belgian job. On the 26 November, Husqvarna offered me an interview and Thes Sport offered an interview the next day. To close out the month of November, Lunds offered me their managerial position and IFK Lidingo FK offered an interview. Lunds agreed to a delay.

December kicked off with ma'assistant letting me know about three more Swedish jobs. I didn't apply for any of them. On 5 December, Thes Sport told me that they were headed in a different direction. Belgian assholes! Two days later, Husqvarna offered me a job and Lunds re-approached. Both agreed to a delay. I wanted to see if IFK Lindingo FK would offer me their job since they have the best infrastructure of all three Swedish jobs where I applied. The next day, Lindingo told me no.

On 14 December, I finally made ma'decision on a job.

Lunds Job.jpg

Team Roster and Contracts
Lunds Roster.jpg
Book1 - Excel 7_7_2020 6_51_07 PM.png

Positional DNA (what I look for ratings wise for each position grouping)
Journeyman DNA - Excel 7_7_2020 7_50_43 PM.png

Playing in the fourth tier of Sweden, I need positional flexibility with ma'roster. So I need to what players can "multi-task" and fill in at other positions than the ones that they are trained to play. I have 10 attributes that I look at for each group. Add those numbers together. Divide by 20 and then multiply by 10. This gives me a score from 0-100. PARALYSIS BY ANALYSIS @Travis7401

All that's left is to watch the team get relegated into the fourth tier and finally start the 2020 season with LUNDS!


Disney and Curling Expert

First, a piece of bad news (kind of). I was forced to sell one of my two starting center backs on DEADLINE DAY. The good news is Brommapojkarna initially offered only 1,000 Es for Hansson but I refused to sell. HANSON got pissed and I kept refusing offers until the board finally overruled me and accepted an offer of 18,000 Es. I got 18x the value out of him by refusing offers until the board finally overruled me.

I'll probably only be around when only the best of the best of this intake break through into the first team but I like the early description of this year's youth intake.

We are just ripping through the league with our KLOPP ball style. Six points clear of second place and nine points clear of third place have us on pace to win automatic promotion back into the Swedish Third Tier for the 2021 season. Worst case, we end up in the playoffs.

Center forward FILIP is leading the team in both average rating (7.48) and goals (10). He is an absolute black hole on offense as seen by his ZERO assists. Keep on scoring FILIP. Left back GUSTAV is leading the team with six (6) assists. Assists from wingbacks are a thing with FM20 and my KLOPP ball is designed to maximize this flaw in the match engine. It's hard to get assists from the central midfielders in this year's version of the game.


Disney and Curling Expert
2020 End of Season Review
A germ-free European Championship went pretty much true to form. The bottom quarter of the draw was pretty soft with Switzerland-Poland and Austria-Belgium. Austria and Poland pulled off a pair of upsets in the Round of 16 and Poland reached the semifinals before getting spanked by Italy.

We steamrolled the league only drawing six matches and losing none.

Three of the six draws came in the last five matches of the season after we had clinched the championship and stopped giving a shit. Our only loss was to Norrkoping in the 2nd round of the Swedish Cup.
Signed a new contract but I don't expect to be there when it expires. I hope to be a higher division club or better third-tier club in Sweden.


Disney and Curling Expert
Could jump the second tier altogether if HACKEN hire me. They are currently in 12th out of 16 teams in the Allsvenskan.


Disney and Curling Expert
On May 11, 2021, Hacken approached me for an interview about 10 days after I submitted my application.

The media considered me the odds on favorite for the job.


On May 17, HACKEN approached me with a job offer that was quickly accepted. I spent just under 1.5 seasons at LUNDS before moving on to my first professional coaching job.


Things were going great at LUNDS too. I never lost a league game at LUNDS and finished my career there was a record of 29 wins 6 draws and 0 losses. My only loss at the club was in the 2nd round of the Swedish Cup. Overall record: 30 wins 6 draws 1 loss I finished with 82 goals scored (2.22/gm) and 18 goals allowed (0.49/gm).

Here's how things stood with LUNDS as I left them on the 17th.


We had not conceded in the first nine league matches and the 2021-22 Swedish Cup has not started yet. The Swedish set up is weird. The league runs from April to October but the cup runs from September to May.


Disney and Curling Expert
When I took over Hacken, these bums were sitting in 10th place and not doing much of anything except being a bunch of whiners. WE WANT WINNERS!
In addition to being BUMS, there are a good number of old BUMS on the team and, with minor exception, they are the biggest whiners of group. They definitely did not like the heavy training regimes I brought in and the high-tempo pressing game that I want to play. They just wanted to loaf and collect their paycheck. In the summer transfer window, I was able to run some of them off. Namely, Ahmed Yasin, who was a lazy and unproductive right winger. GODSWILL and IAN both got pissed when I wouldn't accept low-ball transfer offers for their services from bigger clubs. So, I raised their asking price and when the teams continued to ask for their services and they still wanted to be pissy. I sold them. It left me thin at right back but I made a move to shore up that spot by bringing in Antonio Marin from Spain.


My youth intake, even though I have one of the better academies in Sweden, yielded another crop of BUMS. Most of these players will never see the senior team for Hacken.


Once I chased off some of the whiners and relegated the older and very slow players to the bench, we started to play some really good football and quickly moved up the table. We were locked in a battle with Kalmar, Malmo, Hammarby, and Djurgardens for the two Europa Conference places. A pair of road draws against Kalmar and Malmo in the last month of the season had us on the outside looking in. We played IK Sirius in the last match day who needed a win to save themselves from relegation. They jumped out to an early 1-0 lead. We really put the pressure on the second half to chase that European place. We escaped with a 2-1 win which sent Sirius down and with other results going our way vaulted us into 2nd place and one of the Europa Conference places for the 2022-23 season.


Old BUMS who will not have their contract renewed for the 2022 season: FALTSETAS, FRIBERG, and LUNDBERG

LINDGREN gets saved because he has a good personality, the fans like him, and he has potential to be a good coach in the future. TOIVIO is still good enough for the Allsvenskan.

I'm looking to improve these areas in the following order: center back, defensive midfielder, central midfielder, wing back.

Our center backs need a complete revamp. The defensive midfielder is the key to the formation. I have too many with the "likes to go forward" instruction. This pushes them too high into the attack and leaves a gaping hole for the opposition to exploit and exposed our slow center backs. Central midfield and wing back is purely for depth. I have two strong central midfielders in YAKOB and MODER and two good wing backs in MARIN (right side) and OUATTARA (left side).


Disney and Curling Expert
2022 Mid-Season Report
In the very long Swedish offseason, the Malmo FF job opened up and I applied for it. I figured I had a good chance of getting it. I'm a known manager in the country. It's a step up to a bigger job with the potential for Champions League glory given it's spending power and youth academy.


The media don't think I'm a favourite for the post but the media can get fucked because....


THE FANS WANT ME!!!!!! However on 15 January 2022, Malmo informed me that they were going in a different direction.

We entered the season picked by the media to finish in 5th place. These are the same assholes who didn't view me as a favourite for the Malmo job so they can go eat shit.


We are just straight up murdering people in the league. Undefeated in the league with just four goals allowed. I played a lot of backups in the group stage of the cup as well as the quarterfinals and semifinals. The first team stepped on the field for the curb stomping of Norrkoping in the cup final to earn my first piece of major silverware. We allowed just one goal in the very busy month of May where we rotated a lot of players into the starting XI since we played nine matches in 29 days.


Elfsborg has tried to hang with us but we just haven't lost and sport a +31 goal difference as we headed into the month-long "summer break" which is just something else I don't understand about the Swedish League. We are going to cram a bunch of games into May and only play once in June. Just strange. But it gave me a chance to see which clubs are looking for new managers. I was mainly looking at the Eredivisie in Holland and the 2.Liga in Germany as a German/Dutch manager. I would like to go back to my "home." There were no 2.Liga jobs available at the end of May. On 30 May 2022, I applied for the Heerenveen job in the Eredivisie. They finished in 8th place during the 2021-22 season, out of Europe and looking to go in a new direction. On 6 June 2022, the Heerenveen fans tip me as a "leading candidate," which led to a whirlwind five days.

10 June 2022: Heerenveen offer job interview

11 June 2022: Willem II, 15th place in the Dutch Eredivisie, cold call me and offer a job interview. The worthless media link me with this job after the interview.

14 June 2022: Heerenveen request any staff changes that I would like to make to the youth setup. I ask to sack the entire U19 management and coaching staff so I can bring in my own people.

15 June 2022: Heerenveen approach me with a job offer.

20200716003325_1.jpgJourneyman Excel - Excel 7_16_2020 2_09_33 PM.png


Disney and Curling Expert
2022-23 Mid-Season Update
This season is awful because of the 2022 Winter World Cup in Qatar (THANKS, FIFA!). The Eredivisie takes a break starting at the end of October and doesn't begin again until the beginning of January. It was these long breaks as to why I wanted to get the hell out of SWEDEN! My goal, this season, to hang with the Big Three clubs (Ajax, Feyenoord and PSV). Just be competitive. Ajax thrashed us 5-1 (FUCK!), Feyenoord beat us 3-2 (ASSHOLES!), and we drew against PSV (YAY!). One point and two competitive matches not a great start. But we have just ripped apart everyone else.

We are sitting in 3rd place and in, I believe, an automatic qualifying place for the 2023-24 Europa League. Feyenoord are only ahead of us because they beat us. PSV are struggling in sixth place. Other than that no real surprises.



The USA CRASHED out in the group stage going 0-2-1 earning just two points and with a goal difference of -5. They drew 0-0 with Cameroon and 2-2 to Columbia. MIX and JOZY were the goal scorers. The last match was 5-0 loss to :england:

:england:did what they do best in the knockout round....lose on penalties. Argentina were knocked out in the 2nd round on penalties by Spain. The big upset was Poland taking out Holland, 2-0. Everything else was pretty true to form.


Player of the first half of the season has been EJUKE who has nine goals and four assists. DRUIJF is second on the team with seven goals. There are plenty of BUMS who haven't played much and are WHINING about their playing time. Why aren't you playing? BECAUSE YOU ARE A BUM! Looking at you: VEENDORP, FREDERIKSEN, ESPEJORD, VAN RHIJN, SCHAFER, DOLLENKAMP and that GREEK guy (@Yankee151) whose name I can't even try to spell.


Disney and Curling Expert

During the winter transfer window, the big clubs came in for my high-performing players. Some I was reluctant to sell. Others, the club met the minimum release clause so I had no choice but to sell. It made for a very busy window.


The CHINAMEN from Shenzhen came in for Carel Etting with a bid of 23 million Es which I accepted and way above their initial bid of only 10 million Es. The next big money sale was EJUKE when Porto (among others) met his 20 million E release clause to clubs in an international competition. The last big money sale was goalkeeper Warner HAHN who got pissy when I wouldn't sell him in the summer. Leeds came in with a big money offer so his ass was off to :england:. In between those sales, we were able to move some BUMS as well on small deals. This gave me a big transfer kitty to use to bring in new players.

We brought in two Brazilian players on a free. A third Brazilian joined on a low price deal. We poached a defender from Barcelona's B team on a cut rate deal. The only player where we paid market value was for VUSKOVIC. A snapshot of those players here.

CM Carlos Roberto (Free)

GK Rafael Marques (Free)

DM Kevin Giacobe (2.1 million Es)


DC Jorge Cuenca (3.8 million Es)


DC Mario Vuskovic (18.25 million Es)


The introduction of five new players to lineup caused a very choppy January and early February form but once we got knocked out of the Dutch Cup and only had one match per week, we really hit our stance and got back to our ways of just pounding teams into submission.



We moved up the table into second place by early April as PSV and Feyenoord faded in the second half of the season. The draw against PSV knocked us down to third place heading into the final match against 16th place Roda. AZ had to travel to Ajax. We got the outcome that we needed to finish in second place. We beat Roda 2-0 and AZ lost to Ajax which moved us back into second and into the Best Places Playoff for the Champions League. AZ heads into the Europa League while Feyenoord and playoff winners Utrecht go to the Europa Conference. Fortuna and Cambuur slide into relegation.




Disney and Curling Expert
2023-24 Midseason Update

Shipped a lot of players out either on loan, on frees, or transferred out because they were BUMS! Didn't splash a lot of money around this window. Found some young players on frees from big clubs that can't get playing time with their big club but I can find the time for them either this year or in the future. Brought in a pair of Argentinian defensive midfielders to shore up our depth at that position.


We absolutely sucked to start the season. The players weren't ready to deal with two matches per week now that we have European matches to deal with just about every week. We played like ass and leaked goals at a massive rate. We started to shore things up as the calendar turned to October and returned to our 2022-23 form. I knew at some point the rubber band was going to snap back and we would start winning again but the early dip killed just about any chance of contending for the title this year. Need to shift our focus to ensure we don't get tied up in the European Places Playoffs in May. We won't have the KNVB Beker to worry about since the BUMS decided not to show up for it this year; losing to Helmond in the Eerste Divisie.


5th place is not bad considering how much we sucked at the beginning of the season when we down in the relegation zone.


Europe was a different animal for us. We had a crushing loss to Young Boys in the last qualifying round before the group stage of the Champions League. The good news is we fell into the Europa League. The bad news is we drew Bayern Munich in the Group Stage. That said, we SHOCKED them in Holland with a FERGIE TIME goal. The loss in Germany was the lone loss of the group stage as we qualified for the first knockout round where we drew Monaco.




Disney and Curling Expert
2023-24 End of Season Review

Ajax just ran a train on everybody in the league dropping only one game and scoring 102 goals which was 35 more than the second-best team in the league. We rebounded to finish in 2nd place just like last season and earned the 2nd Champions League place for next season. This year's European qualifiers are stronger than last year when 8th place earned the playoff spot. This year, Feyenoord earned that place and should be one of the better teams in the Europa Conference. Three teams go down after PEC Zwolle lost in the relegation playoffs.


March was the toughest month for us. We draw Bayern Munich again in the knockout rounds and they dispatched us quite easily. Sandwiched between those games was a home match with Ajax who beat our tired squad without much problem. After that, we rattled off seven straight win allowing just two goals. We switched a 4-2-3-1 formation for the home matches where we picked apart AZ and De Graafschap. I may move to this formation for home matches going forward. In the 4-1-4-1, the center forward is getting mauled by the defensive midfielder and the two center backs. He struggles to find space which is hurting the offense.

20200726211135_1.jpgPlaying Time vs Age - Excel 7_27_2020 2_50_50 PM.png

Carlos ROBERTO was the player of the year for us posting six goals and 11 assists from the center of the midfield. Right Winger Adam Holzek was a close second putting up double digits for both goals (11) and assists (12). Center Forward Ferdy Druijf was the team leader with 15 goals but less than half of those came from league play. The defense was led by Goalkeeper of the Year, Rafael Marquis, who led the league with 15 clean sheets and had 23 clean sheets in all competitions.

My personal reputation isn't high enough yet to move on to a better a job so I'll be at Heerenveen for a little while longer I suppose.