• Registration is disabled due to constant spammers. Email [email protected] and we will temporarily re-enable registration for you.

[FM18] Mr. Manager Time Travels to FC Köln, Drinks Kölsch

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
Mr. Manager decided to become a 5th dimensional simulation overlord and take control of FC Köln during the 2017-2018 season, in order to help them avoid the relegation that happened in the Donald Trump/Blake Bortles/@NML winning version of the simulation. In this version of the sim, Koln came off an exciting 5th place Bundesliga finish in 2016-2017, but ended up with an incredibly disappointing last place finish in the 2017-2018 season, after selling their best striker, Anthony Modeste, who scored 25 goals and replacing him with some big goober, Jhon Cordobe, who only played in 2 games and scored 0 goals.

Mr. Manager sim traveled to Cologne in the summer of 2017 and fell in love with the local beer, Kölsch. At this point he felt bad for the wonderful people of this city and decided to attempt to save them from the terrible season he knew was coming in their version of the simulation. Surely Mr. Manager can save them from relegation?

Similarly, Mr. Manager inserted hisself as head ball corch of the USMNT. Mr. Manager will do absolutely no work or preparation for this managerial task and will corch the team via face time on his broke dick Iphone, while sitting on the patio at Fruh am Dom drinking 32 glasses of Kölsch per match. He's confident that he'll still do better than Bruce Arena, and qualify for the 2018 world cup.

Mr. Manager made the regrettable decision to use facial recognition software in order to create his 2017 sim avatar. Even in the year 2073, facial recognition software leaves a lot to be desired and sim avatars created this way have a very off-putting "glitch in the sim" type appearance. Mr. Manager's face makes everyone uneasy. Players and ASS CORCHES alike avoid looking directly at him, as it makes them question their own reality.

42177042805_a07f69ff39_b.jpg
 

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
Lets learn a bit about Cologne/Koln!

It is the 4th largest city in Germany and is located on the Rhine River. The city was originally established by the Romans in the 1st century AD and functioned as the capital city for the Roman province of GERMANIA INFERIOR, a province name to make future Nazis rage for sure! The city was eventually occupied by the Franks in the year 462 and became a thriving trade city during both medieval and renaissance eras. After World War I, the city was actually occupied by the British @hayvis until 1926! During WWII Cologne suffered greatly for their strategic location on the Rhine River, suffering hundreds of air raids that obliterated the city and bridges across the Rhine. The photo below serves as a great reminder of how idiotic and wasteful war is! What a shitty timeline this is, maybe I should have started in 1933 instead!
1280px-Koeln_1945.jpg


One major landmark, the Cologne Cathedral (Kolner Dom) was spared due to both it's historic significance, and the fact that it served as a useful landmark for bombing raids. When viewed from above in satellite imagery, you can certainly see why because it looks exactly like a giant compass (or a giant catholic cross)! It did take some minor hits during bombing, but was generally unharmed other than window/surface damage. @Mame YO can certainly appreciate how useful a compass can be when you're in new territory, and I'm sure the allied pilots felt the same way. Cologne has more pubs than any other city in Germany and Gaffel am dom and Fruh am dom are both strategically located near the largest tourist attraction and offer Kolsch beer and traditional German dinning fare, which centers around pork and tatters. You've got pork chops, pork cutlets, pork knuckles, pommes frites, hash brown style potatoes, mashed taters, Potatoes au gratin, etc. One thing you wont find at either restaurant is a single vegetable! After having 32 glasses of Kolsch, make sure to use the bar restroom, because the public restrooms adjacent to the dom cost 2 squiggles for a piss!

42186879965_fd02d6db1c_b.jpg


Here is what every meal will look like: Pork, Potatoes, Gravy
20622292_10103918628304453_2524414875396823476_n.jpg


Back to the Cologne Cathedral, it's so imposing that it is literally impossible to capture the size of the thing in a single photograph. It was the tallest building in the world for a few years! Mr. Manager climbed up into the tower and was fortunate enough to be in the bell area when the bells were ringing. The vibration almost sent his avatar back to 2073!

Here is a photo of the smaller/side facade first visible when you exit the train station and look south toward the Dom.
20526186_10103916581885493_5479574977158915907_n.jpg



A glitch in the simulation was also noted, as the sign of the squirrel king was present on the Dom!
20728277_10103941705153263_3166985949590437196_n.jpg




Here is a cool vidya about the medieval engineering!
 

Mame YO

slings rocks
Being in Europe during the World Cup is interesting. Entire crowds walking down the street will flat out stop moving and congregate around a TV when some serious shit happens in a match and all of the people already sitting down (on beer #32 no doubt) are pissed that they can’t see the highlights because of all the fair weather fans blocking the way. You can hear screams of joy in the distance at one bar when a goal is scored, and see the faces of crushed dreams at others. It’s amazing.

And that inbound into headbutt shot is freaking money. I don’t even watch football and I’ve seen that shit work a half dozen times in a week.
 

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
Here is my introduction vidya, I messed with some sound settings on the microphone to try to eliminate background noise/static, but I don't think it sounds all that great. I'll make some adjustments in the future, sorry for now.




Here is my team overview screen showing some of the history, uniforms, info, etc
29209591478_9cbe33e657_b.jpg


Here is the roster at the end of the preseason, just look at all those injured strikers! The thing I like most about this team is that they have a lot of good young players in the 19-24 year old range. I don't have a lot of depth, and the available players limited the formations/strategies I had available for the time being. I think I'd prefer to play a 4-3-3 type system, as I have in previous saves, but the personnel here is suited for something more like a 442.
41270355450_1e4656b05d_b.jpg


So anyway, based on the available personnel I came up with my formations and tactics for the season. It's a slightly asymmetric 4-4-2 thing and the players I have all slot in pretty well and I have decent rotation and depth at each spot. Since my players started with very low familiarity, I have the same basic formations set up for all 3 tactics. The base on is set to "counter" and then I have a slightly more offensive "standard" secondary option (shown). The third option is defensive, with 2 CDMs. My team generally has bad first touch and passing, so I definitely want to get the ball out to my wingers who are fast and have good crossing. Everything is set to be a pretty direct SPRINT/CROSS style tactic. We do not plan to have much possession and will regularly be OVERRUN In the midfield. That being said, I think we're well suited to the sprint/cross life. After the preseason I've got really good familiarity with my formations.

  • I pair a more defensive/holdup style striker with an advanced forward type striker. Unfortunately my faster advanced forward is injured, so I've got 38 year old slow AF PIZZA MAN in that role for now. I have several different target man/DF type strikers who can all push for the other position. Getting some young/fast advanced forward/poacher types will be a major order of business
  • My left and right midfielders will play as wingers and I have team instructions set so that they'll be the main focal point of the attack. We're going to exploit the wings and put in a bunch of crosses! Bittencourt and Risse are my best midfielders. I only have one backup player of playing on either wing, but I've got a couple more wingback types who can also play LM and RM in a pinch. I think a lot of my success this year will depend on Bittencourt and Risse.
  • In the central midfield I have a CM set as a "Deep lying play-maker-defend" and a CDM set as a "BWM - Support." In practice this means they'll be less assymetric than it looks, as the CDM will get forward a little more and the CM will drop back a little more in their respective roles. So far it has played out kind of like a 4-2-2-2, which I like. The main benefit of using the CM is that I have several players who are accomplished at CM but can't play CDM. My CDM options are a little limited and are both ball winner types. I have two great looking young players for that playmaker CM role, but both of my CDMs are getting up in age, so I'll likely look to add a young player at some point.
  • I'm pretty set at LB, as my best player on the team plays here and I've got a couple of good young players as well. At RB I've got a decent player and then a couple of backups. Unfortunately the starter is going to be needed at CB for depth as well.
  • At CB my 2 best players are 20 and 23 years old, which is great moving forward. Unfortunately, I don't have any depth here with only 1 true sub. The starting RB can also play CB if necessary and so can one of my CDMs, so I think I will be ok in the short term, but I'll definitely need to look for some more depth here.
  • At GK is my other best player and I've got a decent young backup as well. I have a more promising YOUTH on the U19 team as well. Backup keepers should be fine.


42177042665_06b6c0ee7f_b.jpg
 

GuyIncognito

pressure cooker full of skittles
@Travis7401 is it true that their star ratings are relative to the rest of your team and not to some objective standard?

If so, how do you assess how good these guys are? Just go player by player and look at their stats for their position?
 

NML

Well-Known Member
is it true that their star ratings are relative to the rest of your team

This is true

You can also get scout reports on ur league opponent's, and see how their stars stack up. In the English pyramid, ur coaching scout report will normally say something like "well suited for League X" or "a leading player for League Y."

Also if you go to team report > comparison, it has a few charts comparing ur team's ratings to the rest of the league.
 

GuyIncognito

pressure cooker full of skittles
Yeah I got the team comparisons, I'm just wrestling with the concept that you could be looking at two players who are rated 4 stars, but they aren't being equated because those ratings are relative to their teams?

Or are *all* star ratings I see relative to *my* team?
 

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
So the star ratings are ur scout or assistant coach's opinion of the player and are also relative to the level your team is at... They are therefore both subjective and relative. The better your coach/scouts "Judging current ability" rating the more accurate they are. The star I personally believe they are more relative to your primary competition (Bundesliga in this case) because the scout reports often reference specific competitions in the more detailed report. Others claim it is strictly relative to ur team, but I disagree, I think the primary competition is at least factored in... I base this on the fact that when I've had very good teams relative to the league I have lots of 4-5 star players. When I have bad teams for the league, my best players are typically in the 3-3.5 star range and most players are 2.5 star or below. If it was relative only to the team, wouldn't it be a more even distribution?

In the case of Koln I have a couple of 4 star players mention being "Leading Bundesliga players." Some of the lesser rated players have references to 2. Bundesliga in their scouting reports. Most of my team is 2.5-3.5 stars which makes sense for a team predicted to finish in the middle of the pack in the league.

Generally I view the current ability stars as more of a quick reference. The only benefit in the stars over the actual ratings is that the stars also take into account the hidden ratings that aren't visible/available for you to look at. If you have a 4 star player, I'd play him even if his ratings don't appear to be good because there is something beneath the surface that is important.

Mostly I look at the attributes the player needs for their role and I like to keep in mind what is considered "good" for my league/level of play. For instance, in the Bundesliga a 15 rating is great 12-13 ratings are middle of the road and 10 ratings are bad. The other thing to consider is that players at all levels can have good physical ratings, in general physical ratings are more equal across leagues and the better players are separated by their mental/technical ratings. In other words, if you want a "fast" striker you want him to have 15+ pace in any league.

The upshot is there is a lot of "fog of war" in the star ratings, but I still find them useful as a quick reference/summary of my scout/ass corch's opinion (and then I take their opinion with a grain assault).
 

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
All star ratings being relative to your current team is probably close enough. There is intentionally a lot of mystery and few straight answers about these star ratings :laughing:

If you want to see actual objective ratings, you can purchase the editor and that gives you the ability to look underneath the hood at the REAL ratings.
 

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
Familiarity with satanic goats is part of the reason Mr. Manager loves Koln!

Lost my first Bundesliga game when the other team scored with 10 seconds left in stoppage time! This is not an official update, but I want to resist the urge to save scum or throw my computer out the window, so I'm posting!
 

GuyIncognito

pressure cooker full of skittles
All star ratings being relative to your current team is probably close enough. There is intentionally a lot of mystery and few straight answers about these star ratings :laughing:

If you want to see actual objective ratings, you can purchase the editor and that gives you the ability to look underneath the hood at the REAL ratings.

Nah, I don't care about that. I actually like the mystery, but I at least want to know what the mystery actually *is* if that makes any sense.

I'm all about stuff going on under the hood (see CKII), I just want to be sure I understand the stuff that's on top of the hood.
 

Yankee151

Hot Girl Summer
Well even potential rating (which is hidden, mostly) can vary from game to game to some degree, which adds to replayability. In the editor you usually see some players with potential ratings any where from -1 to -10, which covers each of the ranges that they actually hit so that's pretty cool.
 

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
Here is the first official match of the season! A cup match against a foe from the 2. Bundesliga. With all of our best looking strikers injured, the attack looks pretty woeful, but we manager to scrap our way to victory thanks to a couple of CB JOINS ATTACK goals from set pieces.

 

adchester

A-1 From Day 1
I started a USA save too, basically u just have TEFLON bomb up the right side and Pulisic be an inside forward and you're golden. That combination is almost unstoppable for any CONCACAF team
 

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
In Italy this one bathroom I went to was literally JUST a hole you were supposed to stand over, lol. It was like an outhouse and they were like "fuck it nobody actually sits on the toilets in these things anyway, so why not just skip that part." A small child could have fallen in.
 

Mame YO

slings rocks
What? We haven’t seen these yet. To me it’s kind of a waste of space that the bidet is like the same size as the toilet and sits right next to it though. Don’t they have the toilet+bidet combo?
 

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
@hayvis this is the simulation where I'm an overlord.

Here I take the US over and do basically nothing and qualify by drawing my first match against Honduras and winning my second match 2-0 against Panama. UR WELCOME USMNT SOCCER FANS! My strategy was to simply listen to my ASS CORCH for all of the roster/assignments and taking my base strategy directly from FC Koln. As far as in game management, I resort to mockery and scorn and make sure they know how horrible I think they are. That being said, I managed to do what Bruce Arena couldn't!

The only change I made this game was moving my left mifielder forward and playing him as an inverted winger, with Nagbe in that spot, and he rewarded us with two goals, so I'd say it worked out pretty well! I like to think the Whiskey helped lubricate the simulation as well, you can hear my ice clinking as I sip!

 
Last edited:

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
Yeah, I definitely got the Goblue version of Augsburg and not the previously 15th place version, lol, your team crossed over the event horizon to meet mine and crushed me.
 
Top