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2021-22 Corches' Terrible HaSHtaGS Thread

Southpaw

Fuckface
Utopia Moderator
If that’s true you could prolly lure Bill Belichick with that kind of offer. George Lucas must have come off some Star Wars coin.
 

Ander1345

I ain't got friends, I got FamILLy
Brian Kelly to LSU would be disastrous for everyone involved. He has the 4th ranked recruiting class for 2022 and Notre Dame always finding ways to play down to their competition. Is that what LSU wants?
 

bruin

Well-Known Member
All signs point to CHIP returning for a 5th year. Hard to fire a coach coming off possibly a 9 win season and the first sign of life in 5 years.
First time beating Cal, Stanford and SC since ‘98 (CADE)

First time going undefeated in November since CADE in ‘98.

Supposedly Bruins are going to come up with some serious coin for a DC (Jimmy Lake?, Derrick Mason?)

Honestly if the Defense can get its shit together, there’s no reason to not compete for a conference title. Offense in CHIP’s 5th season should be a well oiled machine (DTR coming back?)

We’ll see bros.
 

silverwheels

PLAY LA BAMBA BABY
Lmao yeah. I'm guessing once Helton got fired. OU moving to the SEC was prob just more icing.

OU to the SEC was actually the catalyst. Riley’s been talking to USC since at least the week of the Baylor game.

It is what it is. OU will be OU (good regular seasons and poor postseason performances) until proven otherwise.
 

Ander1345

I ain't got friends, I got FamILLy
OU to the SEC was actually the catalyst. Riley’s been talking to USC since at least the week of the Baylor game.

It is what it is. OU will be OU (good regular seasons and poor postseason performances) until proven otherwise.

You right. I had it flipped chronologically in my head.
 

Brick

Well-Known Member
kelly would be great hire for LSU imo. be gonna be like the roy williams or CORCH CAL of footbaw. gonna win a title and everyone will forget about the close misses.
 

fried rice

Who wants to sex Mutombo?
But seriously, how should I feel about this hire? I was a big fan of Brian Kelly as a consistent winner before he was hired by ND, like I wanted to see Miles move on so that we could hire the guy. Obviously he’s had them very competitive most years, but I know nothing about his adaptability, strengths, weaknesses or anything.
 

Travis7401

Douglass Tagg
Community Liaison
I would like to, while apropos of almost nothing, comment on the "SEC has the most fans" take, which IMO is like a PFT Commenter level take.

SEC schools are, more than maybe any other conference, frequently in the middle of fucking nowhere. In some cases there is literally nothing else to do besides go see that college's teams play games.
A lot of those people also just don't leave their hometown or home state. This, of course, in comparison to USC or UCLA not being able to draw fans is partially explained by the fact that there's a billion other things to do in LA, and it's a very transient metro area in comparison.

Let us look at these team by team. I will rank from most cosmopolitan to least, based entirely on my own understanding of these dumps. Specifically, outside of a couple exceptions, these places don't have any significant OTHER sports to obsess over or games to attend.

There's a lot of other stuff to do if ur IQ is over 75

These schools are in or in nearby proximity of actual cities, except for LSU because BR is a long hovercraft ride from New Orleans.

Nashville TN (Vanderbilt) - this is an obvious winner in this category. Even if Vandy was consistently mediocre as fuck (like half the SEC) I don't think there'd be a ton of people at these games. I have to imagine that a degree from Vandy also grants you some economic flexibility to leave town that a degree from (spins lotto ball cage) Missouri doesn't, so they don't have a great alumni built in fan base.

Athens GA (Georgia) - only here because of 90 minute proximity to Atlanta. I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that most Bulldog home games aren't attended by people that live near Athens but rather people in the orbit of Atlanta.

Not bad especially if you're a full blown alcoholic or you think getting on a plane is cosmopolitan lefty elitist behavior so you never left

I assume that these mid-sized cities accidentally have alternate attractions to attending football games, but I'm ready to be challenged on this assumption!

Lexington KY (Kentucky) - Lexington is kinda fun. Keeneland is decent. Big enough to have a few museums or decent restaurants not in strip malls.

Knoxville TN (Tennessee) - Smokey mountains and shit, hunting raccoons, hanging with BIG SMO. Seems like there's some OK options besides throwing French's mustard bottles at cheerleaders.

Baton Rouge LA (LSU) - Again, this benefits from proximity to New Orleans, which is indeed a real city and a fun place to be murdered at a stop light. However the allure of LSU is such that I'm not sure BR has a whole lot else going on that would detract you from habitually going to Death Valley to watch yet another horrible QB fire worm burners into the turf and get repeatedly sacked while you chug corndogs

Probably fun if you're 22 but comical to think there's actual culture for real adults

College towns where there's stuff to do if you can't get a ticket to the game

Gainesville FL (Florida) - This is a huge state school so if you're in college or like date rape, mosquitoes, and Bud Light emerging product test markets, Gainesville is probably a gas.

Oxford MS (OLD MISS) - It's called Oxford so I'm going to make a sweeping assumption that it's not a total dump and is a fun college town but I'm guessing LANE TRAIN is the primary entertainment and that you can pay for tickets with EBT cards.

Auburn AL (Allbarn) - ditto Oxford minus Lane

Need Sherman to ride again

Nobody would know these towns even exist without their football and/or basketball teams, and they probably shouldn't exist

Columbia MO (Mizzou) - Ozarkian shithole, surely

Columbia SC (South Carolina) - SC grads I know actively talk shit about what a dump the town is

College Station TX (A&M) - lol

Starkville MS (MSU) - I saw like 40k people packing some College Baseball tournament game in the middle of the worst of covid, so yeah, there's fuck all to do here

Fayetteville AR (Arkansas) - I'm guessing the "Fayettenam" nickname isn't because they have great larb

Tuscaloosa AL (BAMA) - this is the largest city in the state when there's a home game by population so

Columbia MO is the best town in Missouri, which still means it should be below everything but College Station.
 

Brick

Well-Known Member
But seriously, how should I feel about this hire? I was a big fan of Brian Kelly as a consistent winner before he was hired by ND, like I wanted to see Miles move on so that we could hire the guy. Obviously he’s had them very competitive most years, but I know nothing about his adaptability, strengths, weaknesses or anything.
just look at this trash for 2 decades before he got there. https://www.sports-reference.com/cfb/schools/notre-dame/index.html

you dont even need to LIKE CROOTIN at LSU to get a better roster than he had at ND.
 

kella

Low IQ fat ass with depression and anxiety
Staff member
Administrator
Operations
Friend from hs lol

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Ander1345

I ain't got friends, I got FamILLy
Wow the carousel this year is a particularly special kind if clusterfuckery.

I just don't see the point of "flawless or die" being more appealing than "winnable location with a non-SEC playoff tie-in." The egos on these coaches... but i guess thats why they're coaches.
 
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